It is impossible to imagine anything more devastating for a family than the suicide of their son or daughter. Yet the tragedy of suicide is the leading cause of premature and preventable deaths in Singapore, especially among male teenagers.
Nineteen boys aged 10 to 19 committed suicide in 2018, the highest since suicide figures began being recorded in 1991. In 2017, there were seven suicides by teenage boys.
The total number of suicides also rose last year, with 397 reported – up from 361 in 2017, but still fewer than the 429 in 2016.
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According to the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), The number of people taking their own lives rose across all age groups, except for the elderly – those aged 60 and over.
Last year, 94 young people between the ages 10 to 29 chose to end their own lives.
Suicide is rare in childhood, but starts to become much more common at adolescence, with the risk rising rapidly between the ages of 15 and 19.
These figures do not include suicide attempts, estimated to be up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicide.
Here are some suicide warning signs that parents can spot in vulnerable children that may not be always be as apparent:
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Text: Natalya Molok / Additional reporting: bauersyndication.com.au
If your child constantly expresses feelings of being a burden to others (“my family will be better off without me”) or feelings of being trapped or going through unbearable pain (“there’s no point to my life anymore”), you should engage with them and find out how long they’ve been feeling this way. Prolonged bouts of sadness are definitely a warning sign and should not be taken lightly.
If you notice your child acting out of the ordinary and giving away treasured possessions or even saying goodbye through either their real-world or online communications, this is cause for worry. It is important that young people understand that life pressures ebb and flow, and that all stressors cannot be eliminated. However, they can develop coping skills to manage through difficult periods. It goes without saying that monitoring their social media behaviour is important here, even if you feel like it’s an invasion of privacy.
If your child is experiencing extreme emotional outbursts (like anger, sadness, irritability, recklessness), it is important to show them that you notice they are in difficulty and that there is support for them. Recognise when your teen is overwhelmed by schoolwork or other commitments and help them manage their time. Their school should be able to plan study schedules and to provide extra educational support if they are struggling.
If you think someone might be suicidal, ask them directly “Are you thinking about suicide?” Don’t be afraid to do this, it shows you care and will actually decrease their risk because it shows someone is willing to talk about it. Make sure you ask directly and unambiguously. It can be difficult to broach the subject of mental health, but it is a conversation that needs to be started if you suspect a teen is depressed or anxious.
If you suspect your child is at risk, you need to arrange for urgent professional intervention and support. Your family doctor is a place to start and we are able to do a mental health assessment and then refer to a psychologist, psychiatrist or appropriate counselling service. But if you need urgent help, make a referral to SOS by writing to pat@sos.org.sg, or calling their 24-hour hotline at 1800-221 4444.
Physical activity, either as organised sport or shared activities such as walking, bike riding, swimming and time spent in natural environments are important for mental wellness. At home, you can encourage your teen to spend time with friends and family, rather than spend a lot of time alone. Help your child see that they are not alone and encourage them to talk about their mental health.