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What To Do When Your Kids Are Picking Up Bad Habits From Their Grandparents

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What To Do When Your Kids Are Picking Up Bad Habits From Their Grandparents

You don’t want to off end Grandma and Grandpa, but you do want to wean your growing child off these awful habits. Here are some suggestions to try!

July 15, 2019

Although your preschooler spends three hours a day in kindergarten, his main caregivers during the day are his grandparents.

Unfortunately, you’ve begun to realise he’s picking up bad habits from them, like watching TV all day instead of playing with his toys, and shouting out when he wants something instead of asking nicely.

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A new study by Rutgers and other researchers finds that today’s grandparents are still true to their traditional fun-loving image — allowing their grandchildren, while under their supervision, to spend about half of their time on a mobile phone, tablet, computer or TV.

The study, published in the Journal of Children and Media, suggests that grandparents should restrict media use by setting simple rules for screen time when babysitting. This is particularly needed when children bring a device from home and expect to watch even more.

“Grandparents play a very significant role in raising their grandchildren. We need to educate them about the impact of media on children’s lives and on proper use that will benefit the wellbeing of their grandchildren,” said study co-author Dafna Lemish, a distinguished professor of journalism and media studies and associate dean for programs at Rutgers University–New Brunswick’s School of Communication and Information.

The study reviewed the experiences of grandparents of children ages two to seven who take care of their grandchildren at least once per week and found that during an average four-hour visit, the children spent two hours either watching videos or playing games on electronic devices.

You don’t want to offend Grandma and Grandpa, but you do want to wean your growing child off these awful habits. You need to tread carefully! Here are some suggestions to try when you feel your children are picking up less-than-ideal habits from their grandparents:

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Text: Young Parents / Additional reporting: Natalya Molok

https://www.womensweekly.com.sg/gallery/family/what-to-do-when-your-kids-are-picking-up-bad-habits-from-their-grandparents/
What To Do When Your Kids Are Picking Up Bad Habits From Their Grandparents
Review your concerns
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Before lodging a complaint, think about possible explanations for the way they look after your child.

Perhaps they’re getting on in age and simply don’t have the physical energy and mobility to keep an active child busy every minute he’s with them.

Photo: 123RF
Consider their age
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They may have forgotten how to play with young children, so they can’t provide the sort of activities and stimulation he needs.

If one or both of them have visual or hearing difficulty, this may restrict what they can do with your child during the day, too.

Photo: 123RF
Speak up gently
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And if they don’t realise you disapprove of the way they speak in front of Junior, they’ll think you’re happy with their standard of childcare.

Photo: 123RF
Weigh up the alternatives
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Of course, one option for you is to take this responsibility away from them and hand it over to a paid carer. If you can afford it and do choose this course of action, you’ll need to use tact and diplomacy in order to protect their feelings.

Bear in mind that Hubby may be upset by your proposal, especially if the difficulty lies with his parents. Discuss your concerns with your husband in depth, weighing the pros and cons very carefully until you’re both in agreement about what to do next.

Photo: Pixabay
Come up with new ideas together
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Once you’re of like minds, explain to the grandparents that you’ll be making other childcare arrangements. Do this in a way that avoids criticism or disapproval (for example, explain that this will make life easier for them).

The other option is to stick with the current arrangement, but suggest changes to improve Junior’s experiences when he’s with them.

Photo: Unsplash
Give them suggested activities
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Your child likes variety, with a wide range of games, toys and play activities each day. Draw up a list that his grandparents can work through during the typical day. They’ll probably welcome your suggestions, as this gives them a plan of action to follow.

Photo: 123RF
Arrange play dates
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It’s also worth reminding the grandparents that your child likes to spend some time in the company of others his own age.

Ask them to take him to see his friends sometimes or to arrange for them to visit during the day.

This provides social stimulation and allows him to develop his social skills.

Photo: Pixabay
Give them your wish list
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Instead of complaining about the bad habits he learns from them, tell the grandparents how you’d like him to behave – for example, to ask nicely for things, to share his sweets, and to say “please” and “thank you”.

Ask them to encourage these positive habits whenever they can.

Photo: 123RF
Evaluate regularly
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You may be surprised to find that the grandparents do change their ways following your discussions with them. That would be great for everyone.

But if you do find that their pattern of caregiving remains the same despite your suggestions, you may decide that’s the point when you need to choose different carers.

This post was first published on May 9, 2019, and was updated on July 15, 2019.

Photo: 123RF
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  • children
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  • grandchildren
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  • grandparents
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  • Parenting
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