Derpazor1 1832 points 7 months ago
“We were in the shower together. He was behind and when he put it in I felt intense burning pain. You see, since he masturbated in the shower with soap, he assumed it would be good lubrication for us.”

kizza_2264 538 points 7 months ago
The amount of guys who don’t quite know where the clitoris is. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had to guide someone to the right spot. Still don’t know how someone can mistake the lower back for the fun button though.

amvoloshin 90 points 7 months ago
Not my story, but my best friend was dating a guy who was rather inexperienced and also a “one minute man”. She told him she liked dirty talk and he wanted to try cowgirl, so they assumed the position and he just whimsically begins muttering “and up and down, and up and down, and up and down”. Complete vibe-killer.

bs25418 206 points 7 months ago
I went on a first date with this guy once, and he kept talking about something he called “Little L.” I for the life of me, could not figure out what he was talking about. Then he said he wanted to introduce me to Little L. It ended up being his penis. FYI I never met Little L and to this day still have no desire to meet said Little L.

Side note: I am now married and my husband works with this guy. Husband dies of laughter on the inside now when he sees him.

ajax6677 42 points 7 months ago
My hubby was taking a trip down under and thought a Listerine breath strip would be a sexy stimulant. It went from “Yeah…yeah…um…no…nonono!” real quick.

cantfindtheacidhouse 17 points 7 months ago
My boyfriend when I was 18 wasn’t very experienced so when we were getting down and dirty, he rubbed the very top of my inner thigh as he thought it was my lady region. I didn’t know how to politely tell him he was way off without embarrassing him so I let him continue for a minute before suggesting we watch a movie instead. I probably should’ve corrected him to help his future girlfriends but I don’t think I could’ve without laughing in his face.

mineowntelemachus 5 points 7 months ago
My first boyfriend insisted the urethra and the vagina are the same hole. This immediately after going down on me and (virgin) me saying it felt like I was going to pee.

lookma_noserotonin 1991 points 7 months ago
I was hooking up with a friend once and it was going fine until he started feeling around on my stomach. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he read on Reddit that since he is of a decent size, he should be able to feel himself poking up through my stomach. We had to stop because I was laughing so hard.

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