Hear what your kid has to say without passing comment. Ask them to tell you why they feel this way towards them– and be prepared for their explanation.

The reasons can range from the trivial (“They wear awful clothes”) and temporary (“They made us tidy the whole room because we made a mess”) to serious (“I don’t like them because they are horrible to me and doesn’t like me”).

If you think his complaint is based on a trivial reason – for example, it’s a one-off incident that they were ticked off for – explain that this doesn’t really matter and that they should stop focusing on it.

Remind them that part of a teacher’s job is to keep control and that if they don’t want further reprimands, they should follow the preschool rules.

It’s far more serious, however, if your child says: “I don’t like them because I don’t get along with her.” Their reaction could be due to several reasons.

If your child has few or no friends (and has a miserable time in the playground), they may redirect this unhappiness towards their teacher.

Their teacher might have threatened to contact you (the parents) because of this and they “counter-complain” about them first.

The reality is that not every single teacher likes every pupil. They might prefer others in their group.

Some teachers find the job stressful, shout at the children a lot and generally create a tense environment at the preschool.

Ask to meet the teacher, but be tactful about it. Don’t tell them exactly what your child said about them. Instead, explain that they seem unhappy in school and that you want to help them become more settled.

Ask if they are aware of your child’s distress and if they can think of any reason why your child should have a negative attitude towards them. The teacher might reveal information that you were totally unaware of, and vice versa.

Whatever emerges from your discussion, your child can only benefit by having his parents and teacher be aware of their discomfort.

After this, have another conversation with your child by telling them you are sure he’ll soon grow to like them, but that they have to make an extra effort, too. And then, keep a close watch on how the situation progresses over the next few weeks.

This article was first published in Young Parents. 

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