Suicidal at the age of ten from bullying and fat stigmatisation, Merliah Moidu now puts celebrating her curves at the forefront and is adamant about being a conductor of change when it comes to body acceptance and positivity.
In fact, head to her Instagram page and you’ll be treated to pictures of the 26-year-old in sparkling mermaid costumes, styled photo shoots, and mirror selfies captioned with inspiring messages on self-confidence and treating yourself with kindness.
“I feel like I have always been confident — it’s just that society and the people around me kept telling me that I couldn’t be. That I shouldn’t be. That I should hate myself because I am bigger,” shares Merliah, who is a mermaid performer and instructor, and bills herself Asia’s first plus-sized mermaid.
What brings me joy? Just knowing that when I share my struggles with the world, there’s at least one person out there who doesn’t feel alone anymore.
Merliah Moidu
The Singaporean studied at Lasalle College of the Arts and is now based here. In an interview with The Weekly, she gets candid about the challenges of being a mermaid, the stigma that has followed her since her childhood, and what more can be done to change the stereotypes and attitudes surrounding bigger people.
Her journey as a mermaid started in 2012, at the age of 17.
“I frequented the islands of Malaysia, and was always a water baby. I felt like the ocean was part of me.
On one of those trips, she bumped into someone else with a mermaid costume, and this inspired her to research more about it, and subsequently purchase her first monofin from mermaid tail retailer Mahina Merfins. “I started swimming everywhere with the monofin and that led me to be good at swimming like a mermaid. And that’s how it started,” she tells us.
For those who’ve dreamt of becoming a mermaid, Merliah has this to share: “If you are always comfortable in the water, then get a monofin and start watching videos on how to do a dolphin kick! After that, buy that tail and start living your best mermaid life! There are courses for mermaid-ing but I personally think that it’s something you can learn by yourself.”
“The moment I get into the water with my tail, that’s when I feel most beautiful. It’s like a complete transformation for me. I get to be this beautiful creature everybody said I couldn’t be. It’s just my escape. There’s no certain way a mermaid is supposed to look like… that’s what I love the most about being a mermaid.”
However, she admits, it does come with its challenges. “Posing underwater has to be the toughest thing for me because I struggle with buoyancy because I am a bigger mermaid so naturally I’m just a lot more buoyant.”
She also addresses how societal expectations and perceptions impacted her confidence and self-worth.
“I feel like I have always been confident it’s just that society and the people around me kept telling me that I couldn’t be. That I shouldn’t be. That I should hate myself because I am bigger. But deep down I never really saw the issue with being bigger.”
“When I was being made fun of for being in a bikini at the beach, my mom and dad reminded me of what a great swimmer I was… how long I could hold my breath. That my worth is so much more than what my body looks like. And that helped me so much.”
I always remind myself that this body is only the keeper of ‘my magic’. I am worth so much more than my body.
And on days that she doesn’t feel as fabulous, Merliah’s all for acknowledging them and not running away from them. She shares, “I wake up sometimes and I look in the mirror and I think unthinkable things about myself. But I tell myself, ‘these are just thoughts, not facts. It’s okay to feel this way now but I give you 24 hours and then we’re going back to being a bad b*tch.'”
It’s important to talk to yourself with kindness and talk to yourself like you were your best friend. “Because if you wouldn’t say that to your bestie, why would you say it to yourself?”
Even as conversations around body silhouettes are slowly changing, there’s still more to be done, she points out.
“What frustrates me is a common perception that we are only worth something when we lose weight. But I am very happy that there are more brands that are inclusive. Being plus-sized is way more acceptable than it was back then. So we are making progress, just very slowly.”
She adds that there should be more representation of fat people. “I think we need to keep putting out bigger bodies. We need to do more interviews with successful fat women, and show more photos with fat models.”
Now an advocate of mental wellbeing and loving oneself, Merliah faced her own struggles with mental health and had suicidal thoughts at a young age.
“Growing up I was constantly bullied and I was suicidal at the age of 10. Imagine what people did for a 10-year-old to feel like she didn’t want to be part of this life anymore. But I was strong. I fought on. If you told me when I was 15, that I’d be here at 26 doing what I love, showing people how to love themselves all over the world, and most importantly loving myself, I would’ve never believed you. But to everyone struggling, it gets better.”
Self-love to me means to accept, nurture and be kind to yourself on good days and bad days because you know you deserve it. It is walking away from anyone or anything that disrupts your peace because you know you deserve better. It means accepting the bad parts of you and loving them as much as the good.
“I had no role models up till recently because we lacked representation. No one was ever my colour or size. But now, thank god for Lizzo. I absolutely love her!”