Try arriving at the function early. This way you can get a feel for the room and have people coming in to meet you, rather than you going in to meet them. This also allows you to start with smaller interactions, rather than having to face a big group all at once.

If you make a connection at an event, it’s tempting to stick with them for the duration. Force yourself out of your comfort zone by creating a goal. Set a number of people to meet within a certain amount of time. If you know someone there, join their group and ask for an introduction. If you’re nervous in conversations, remember you don’t have to speak the entire time. Use well-placed insights to demonstrate intelligence rather than speaking continuously.

If approaching even one person scares you, take it one step at a time. According to research, people are happiest when doing something slightly outside their comfort zone. Begin with a safety net. For example, walk up to a stranger with a friend in tow. Start the conversation and let your friend take over. Once you’ve done this a few times, take the conversation further – tell a story.

“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly,” says Susan. When needed, you can act like an extrovert, and still maintain your authenticity while doing so. Just remember to reserve the quiet time you need for balance later on.

Bad at remembering names, even immediately after being introduced? It could be because while people are introducing themselves, the little voice in your head is saying “Don’t forget their name”, and consequently drowns out the very thing you were listening for. Help avoid this issue by repeating their name back to them, and then later writing a quick note on your phone. Remind yourself of context – where you met, or what the person was interested in. You can then reconnect with them through social media or email afterwards.

• Are organised and plan your meetings with questions?
• Take time to build rapport with your contacts.
• Establish goals and the purpose of your network.
• Tell a unique story about yourself in a way that allows people to remember you.
• Are professional, listen, act thoughtfully and build your network on respect.
• Enjoy the process – don’t consider it a burden.
• Move away from the computer – while email and social media are useful, engagement should also be done face-to-face.
• Follow up promptly.

It’s more important to build real-life relationships than virtual networks in cyberspace, and women need to get better at it. Heather McGregor, the author of Careers Advice For Ambitious Women, clarifies that even in the age of social media, it is important to be able to build face-to-face relationships. She says that because with so many people connected through the Internet, it is difficult to distinguish between them. To do so, Heather says you can ask yourself three questions when you meet new people:

Do I like this person? Do you enjoy their company, do you feel valued by them, and would you be happy if you were stuck in a car from one end of the island to the other with them?

Do I admire this person? Do you admire their achievements, skills, or something else about them, for example, their generosity and kindness? Are you inspired by them? Can you learn from them?

Do I trust this person? This may be a gut instinct at first, but will be based on experience, so you usually have to meet them several times.

Text: bauersyndication.com.au

This article was originally published on Oct 8, 2020, and updated on 30 April, 2023.

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