It’s hard to believe the youthful-looking 41-year-old used to be called “The Kraken” by her friends.
The jarring nickname was coined for the hardcore partygoer-turned-entrepreneur due to her signature joyous cackle.
“I’ve always been that loud and obnoxious person, that’s how I probably was to others,” shared Celeste. She offered an apology to friends and strangers she had “terrorised” all those years ago.
But little did people know that her party girl persona only served as a cover for her deep feelings of social awkwardness and discomfort. She turned to alcohol to numb her anxiety, but it gradually began to consume her.
“I found it very hard to interact with people without alcohol, because I was never comfortable in my own skin.
“I never understood why my friends, girls especially at the time, would sit around and talk about their feelings. I just thought, ‘Why can’t you just suck it up and get on with it’.
“I was someone who full-on bought into this hustle culture and wore it as a badge of honour,” she added.
Making a living out of her partying lifestyle also meant that in her world, it was easier to mask her problems with alcohol.
She disclosed: “Close friends could definitely tell my drinking was not normal, I was perpetually drunk.”
But as she was a “high-functioning alcoholic” who still managed to get things done, her condition flew under the radar.
“It was very easy for me to hide all this because I was in a club, and that was my work scene.”
Describing herself as a “blackout drunk”, there were countless days when Celeste woke up at home and could not recall how she got there or what had happened the night before.
However, she considers herself blessed that nothing untoward had ever happened to her during those times. “I mean, I’m surprised I’m still alive,” she replied with a hint of incredulity.
“I think the universe has always put people in my life who were looking out for me, let’s just put it this way.”
But according to Celeste, each drunken episode would trigger “a cycle of shame, guilt and self-hatred” the next morning.
“‘What is wrong with me, why can’t I be normal?’, that was always the kind of self-talk that I had in my head,” she shared.
Her solution, however, was to wash those negative feelings away with yet another round of drinks.
