We all have deadlines to meet, payments to make, people to answer to and things to get done. Usually when the amount of time and effort required is more than we have, we feel stressed. This can manifest itself through anger, anxiety, guilt, confusion and fear.

Though we all feel stressed at times, there is actually no such thing as a fundamentally stressful situation. It all really depends on how we feel and respond. Once you understand this, it gives you power – you can work on it and reduce any stress you feel.

If you spend your life only doing things that are important to you, you would reduce your stress considerably. Figure out what those things are, stop worrying about what you should or could be doing and focus on creating the life you want.

You can do this by making a list of people, activities and things that rate the highest level of importance in your life. Think about what you value most and rate them in order of importance. These are your priorities. Choose options like:

• Relationships with your partner/children/family/friends
• Your career/education
• Personal development
• Health and fitness
• Creative interests

When you have a clear list, review it regularly to ensure the most important areas are getting your attention and effort. When you know you are spending your life focused on what is important, it reduces stress and gives you a greater sense of control.

Now look at where you could be wasting time. Most of us have things we are doing that we no longer feel are important or may not enjoy anymore. If you want less stress, take charge and clear these things out of your life.

You may be spending time with people who you no longer like, undertaking tasks that could be delegated or may have habits that are holding you back. It takes courage to cut yourself loose from these circumstances, but by doing so, you will free up your time for the things that are important to you.

Another way to reduce stress is to change your usual reactions. Remember, there is no such thing as a fundamentally stressful situation – it is up to you how you respond. See your problems as a chance to learn and change bad habits. If something agitates you, refocus your thoughts with the following empowering questions…

• What am I doing to create this situation?
• What can I change?
• Are my emotions appropriate?
• Am I exaggerating or dramatising the situation?
• How likely are my fears?
• Is this really my problem?
• Is my desired outcome realistic?
• Do I need it or only want it?
• What is the worst that can happen and how would I deal with it?
• What is the best outcome and how will that make me feel?
• What can I do to make me feel in charge?

It is a great idea to keep a list of these questions so you can refer to them often. Refocus any situation where you feel stressed and you will notice how much power you have over yourself.

The main thing to remember whenever you feel stressed is that getting upset about something is your choice. If something in your life needs your attention, you can choose to deal with it, rather than avoid it or let it stress you out. Even when you cannot choose the circumstance, you can always choose your reaction. Facing up to stress will allow you to take control and feel more in charge of yourself.

Text: bauersyndication.com.au

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