“I met Matthew online on one of those matchmaking websites. He contacted me first, and when I saw his smiling photo staring back at me, I knew it was love.
“Matthew and I talked on the phone for a few weeks before finally arranging a date to meet at a café in town. When we eventually laid eyes on each other my heart literally skipped a beat. Matthew was more gorgeous than in his photos, and he told me that I was more beautiful than he expected.
“The more time we spent together, the more open we were with our feelings. After a few weeks of being a couple, Matthew told me that he loved me and could see a future with me, but there was just one thing that bothered me – my weight. At first I was taken aback.
I had the perfect figure so what on earth was he talking about? He then shared that he had a thing for chubby women and he asked me if I would put on weight for him. He added that he loved me as I was but that piling on several extra kilos for him would make him happier. If I’d been anyone else I probably would have felt insulted or even turned off by that request. But I truly loved Matthew and wanted to please him. I certainly didn’t want him cheating on me with some chubby woman!”
“I thought long and hard about changing the way I looked for Matthew. I liked my body and enjoyed eating well and being active, but now I’d have to change my exercise routine and eating habits. I didn’t know where to start.
“The majority of our dates were spent eating somewhere, so I would just order more food than usual and take my time to finish it all. It did take some getting used to, not only because I wasn’t a big eater but also because I enjoyed healthy food. Now I was gorging on high-calorie foods, and large amounts of it, too.
“My weight gain was gradual – it took me nearly two years to put on close to 20kg. I definitely felt it, because my clothes grew increasingly tight and I had to shop for new clothes more often than before. My family and friends noticed how much weight I’d put on, too, and they made fun of me for it. But every time they warned me that Matthew might leave me for getting bigger, I’d tell them that he still loved me, and that he, in fact, preferred me a little heftier. They always laughed at me in disbelief.
“Even when my weight soared to 70kg, Matthew still told me I looked gorgeous. He wasn’t ogling other women in front of me or cheating on me behind my back, so I knew that he was attracted to me. If he loved me big, why would I want to go back to my petite size?”
“There’s no doubt that I don’t feel as comfortable in this 70kg body as I did when I was lighter. I get tired more easily and my face always looks bloated. I also find that I don’t look as good in photographs anymore. I think this is the biggest I can go, though, so even if I ate more I don’t think I’d put on more weight. What I do miss more than anything is exercising. I miss my Zumba and yoga classes, and I miss playing netball with my friends on weekends. I’m thinking of going back to the gym because it makes me feel happy.
“My family members have expressed their concern about my health. They’ve said that it’s not how I look, but rather the danger I’m putting myself in, since obesity carries with it all kinds of long-term health risks, like diabetes and high blood pressure. I understand their worry but I’m not exactly obese. I’m overweight, yes, but I don’t think I’m in the danger zone.
“Matthew is happy with my body and so am I; and that’s all that matters. But there’s no need for me to explain myself to anybody. If Matthew can look at this body and say that I’m the sexiest woman in the world, and that there’s no other woman he’d rather be with, then I’d say that putting on this extra weight was well worth the trouble.”
Text: Melissa Wong/HerWorldPlus