Why Are We Making Light Of The Tech CEO x Coldplay Affair?

Last week, a video taken at a Coldplay concert on 16 July went viral – and it had nothing to do with the band. During a gig in Boston, the kiss cam zoomed in on a couple with their arms around each other. Instead of basking in the attention from over 50,000 people in the crowd, the couple looked shellshocked when they saw themselves on the big screen. The man immediately let go of his companion and ducked, while the lady covered her faced and turned around so her back faced the camera.

“Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” quipped lead singer Chris Martin. As it turned out, it was the former. 

While this moment should have just been experienced by the people at that concert – and something they probably would have forgotten by the next morning – it instead turned into the biggest viral moment of 2025 so far. TikTok user @instaagraace (Grace Springer from New Jersey) posted a video of the interaction and internet sleuths went about – as they always do – finding out the couple’s identity.

Andy Byron was the CEO of tech company Astronomer and the woman he was cavorting with was Kristin Cabot, the company’s chief people officer. They’re both married – but not to each other. The two were initially placed on leave by Astronomer but, within days, it was announced that Byron had resigned from his job. There is no public update yet on Cabot’s professional fate.

Photos of their partners – who certainly didn’t ask for any of this attention – were also sprawled all over the internet. Social media accounts were closed in haste before the internet could get their hands on yet more private information about the foursome. 

Memes flooded the internet and some brands got in on the action to take advantage of the viral moment. The scandal seemed to unite the internet in a common enemy – two successful, high-powered people caught cheating on their spouses. But why are we making light of this situation when it’s a serious thing for at least four people who didn’t ask to be so publicly shamed?

The details of this affair – no pun intended – might be juicy but what we are forgetting is that this should be a private matter dealt with among the parties involved. Finding out your spouse has been having an affair can’t be easy. But seeing this deception played out in front of the entire world – the clip has now been viewed more than 100 million times – is something surely nobody would wish on even their worst enemy.

So why aren’t we showing any compassion? 

The art of projection

Byron is reportedly worth between USD20 and USD70 million. Astronomer is valued at around USD1.2 billion and, as the former CEO, there’s a high chance he has some equity in the company too. It’s no surprise then that there were shouts from all corners of the internet for his wife, Megan, to “take him to the cleaners” and “get that money”. 

Break-ups are painful. But splitting from the man you have two children with? Surely no money can make up for the pain Megan must be feeling now. The couple has two children. How on earth is Megan going to explain to them what Dad has done? Also, imagine the trauma inflicted on those two boys, as they’ll undoubtedly be teased for being the sons of “that cheating CEO at the Coldplay gig”. 

Dr Natalie Games, clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, says there’s a sense of schadenfreude involved here, where we enjoy seeing powerful people fail, especially when they violate trust or ethics.

“It makes us feel morally superior and levels the playing field,” she adds.

Infidelity hits a deep nerve – many people have personal experiences with betrayal. Watching others go through it, especially publicly, offers emotional release or a sense of justice.

Dr Natalie Games, clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling

It’s also because this situation taps into our deep collective emotions that we are so invested with how Byron’s wife reacts, says Dr Games. Many project their own experiences or fears of betrayal onto her, wanting her to respond with strength, revenge or justice as a way to symbolically right past personal or cultural wrongs.

However, we are forgetting that Megan isn’t a character on a reality TV show. She is a real woman dealing with a situation with very serious consequences. Are we really helping by projecting our opinions on her? We are strangers, after all.

“Psychologically, we engage in emotional transference and collective projection, funnelling our own unresolved grief, betrayal and fantasies of justice into her story,” says Grace Loh, organisational psychologist, coach and psychotherapist at Grace Psycap. “Whether we want her to burn the house down or embody stoic grace, it’s less about her and more about what we need to feel emotionally resolved.”

“But she is not our narrative. The truth is, we don’t know what she is thinking, feeling or choosing behind closed doors – and we shouldn’t assume,” Grace adds.

Her healing, whatever shape it takes, will unfold far from the hashtags and headlines – and it’s not ours to script.

 Grace Loh, organisational psychologist, coach and psychotherapist at Grace Psycap

The issue of gender bias 

Let’s not forget that Megan is the only spouse who seems to be under scrutiny. Cabot’s husband, Andrew, seems to have escaped being put under the social media microscope. Perhaps the image of a jilted husband isn’t as exciting? 

This is down to gender bias, says Grace – we’re culturally conditioned to centre the betrayed woman.

“She becomes the emotional anchor of the story, the one we watch for cues on how to feel,” Grace explains. “She’s cast as either the silent sufferer or the righteous avenger, embodying dignity, heartbreak or rage in ways that satisfy a public craving for emotional resolution.”

“Meanwhile, Cabot’s husband barely features in the collective imagination, not because his pain is any less but because our societal narratives don’t know how to hold space for male grief in the context of betrayal,” she adds. 

Dr Games shares that we emphasise how identity is formed and maintained through interpersonal bonds, and women are often expected to perform more emotional labour and hold relationships together.

“When infidelity occurs, this dynamic casts wives as primary victims – eliciting empathy, media attention and public emotional investment,” she reveals. “In contrast, husbands are often overlooked because male pain is less socially visible, and men are not expected to play the same emotionally expressive or relationally central role.”

She adds: “In relationships involving power, it’s power – not gender – that increases the likelihood of infidelity. Yet, at the same time, public responses disproportionately emphasise the female presence and damage, reinforcing a symbolic narrative even when both genders are equally at fault.”

It’s time we remind ourselves that the circus of viral moments involve real people. And, when people are hurting, we need to give them space to heal. Nobody who unknowingly goes viral wants to be in a meme that will be on the internet for a very long time. It might be wise to put ourselves in their shoes and move on.