In case you are wondering – yes, it’s fine to be intimate or have sex while your baby sleeps nearby. No studies have shown that a child who sees his or her parents having sex is going to be psychologically damaged. Interestingly, children who are raised in homes with parents who are comfortable with nudity – those who change clothes and bathe in front of the kids – are found to be more sexually healthy.
You’ll know when your child is too old to be nearby while you’re having sex. Generally, when they’re old enough to wonder what’s going on and question whether your sounds and actions are loving or aggressive (children often mistake sex for fighting), it’s time to find a more private space.
Having a healthy sex life makes you a happier parent and a positive role model for what adult intimacy feels like. That means you need to be selfish about your sex life. If your baby is napping, seize the opportunity!
- Make love face-to-face and kiss when you are tempted to shout. This will muffle the noise and increase the connection between couples.
- Practice new ways to communicate in bed, like using words instead of grunting or moaning.
- Make your bed quieter.There are a few tricks you can do to make your bed quieter. Move your bed away from the wall so it doesn’t bump. Put a blanket under the legs of the bed to keep it from sliding, and tighten the bed frame so it doesn’t squeak.
- Forgo your bed.Try another room , a more stable chair or toss a comforter on the floor.
- Do it in the shower. Running water has an amazing ability to drown out sound and even if the kids do happen to wake up for a moment they will only hear the water running.
- Turn on the radio or the television. Or simply creating some form of white noise. These sounds will make it harder to hear the sounds you are making.
- Make eye contact and use facial expressions (e.g., smiles) to communicate appreciation and desire. Also make note of physical changes (e.g., curled toes, arched back, tense pelvic region) to gauge your lover’s reaction.
As fun as it all seems, do move the kids out of your room when they are old enough. And get away once in a while to let loose. Have a bit of variety that includes some loud, uninhibited hotel sex keeps the flame burning.