Some archetypes are favoured by male gold-diggers: the anti-establishment poet, the “before his time” entrepreneur, or the quintessential bike riding bad boy. There is a kind of edgy appeal to these archetypes, and the image costs little to pull off.

The problem starts when your partner begins to lean on you for everything. They want you to pay on dates, and you’re the one buying gifts for parties. You’re also the one paying for plane tickets on vacations, or buying their wardrobe for them.

Like their female counterparts, male gold diggers seem to keep running into emergencies. There’s always something unexpected that seems to need money. Favourites are:

• Need to “fix” something of yours for you
• Need you to pay for this date because the paycheque is in next week
• Need money for “medicine”

Notice that male diggers tend to be a little more subtle (and a lot more manipulative) when asking for money. Expect a lot of reverse psychology – they want you to insist on buying something for them.

Gold diggers of both genders are rarely driven. Most of them just want to enjoy life now. There is no grand plan to start a company, or reach senior management, or change the world. Why would they want to? It suits them fine the way it is – they are already getting what they want without work.

If your partner leans on your for money and doesn’t want that to change, you probably have a gold digger on your hands.

Male gold diggers often encourage buying behaviour. They’re the ones prodding you to go ahead and overspend on a new bag or shoes, and maybe buy “us” a new car or TV while you’re at it.

They’ll always encourage you to spend because “there’s more to life than money”. If you ask them to handle the buying though, the response is usually “I would if I could.” But they never can.

Some male diggers are willing to invest in order for a payoff. One example is not being a male digger for years – they’ll be happy to buy your meals, your clothes, take you on holidays, etc. Because what they want is your family’s wealth.

Common signs are prying questions about how much your family has, what they own, or who really makes the spending decisions.

Beware this breed of gold diggers. They are especially malign because they will go so far as to marry you and then dump you.

Some male gold diggers are charming and don’t exhibit any such tendencies. For the first few dates at least. Once you are emotionally invested, they will make a 180-degree turn and start leaning on you for money.

If you find that you are suddenly paying a lot more, you should be suspicious.

As trust builds, it is not atypical for those in relationships to divulge information such as their ATM Pin number associated with their bank accounts.

Over time, if you recognise that your man knows your ATM Pin number better than he knows your phone number, then it is not a good sign.

A potential spouse should be more interested in learning more about you and building a strong relationship with a solid foundation than overly frequent extractions from your account.

Are you the latest promotion – that is, are you the latest upgrade for your gold digging man? Typically, these types of men are only interested in the luxuriant and opulent lifestyle and are only looking for women who will help them reach the mountaintop.

If you have heard rumours that your man likes to upgrade on a frequent basis, then it would be wise to refrain from spending money relative to his copious desires.

Relationships are built upon trust, love, faith and positive communication and emotions. Common stereotypical information would lead many to believe that all men are aloof and indifferent. This is certainly not the truth.

However, if you recognize that your man continually shows a lack of emotion and detached behavior, except on your paydays, he is probably not interested in you beyond your finances.

As previously stated, positive and empowering communication is absolutely essential for the sustenance of a fruitful and healthy relationship. This type of communication should cover a full gamut of topics and involve active listening.

The conversation should not be strictly and consistently confined to money. So if you’re finding that all your conversations always end with some kind of money issue being brought up then that’s a major red flag.

READ MORE:
10 Hacks For A Happy And Healthy Marriage
8 Super Easy Ways You Can Improve Your Sex Life
Top 10 Reasons Why People Cheat In Relationships

(A version of this story first appeared on SingSaver.com / Additional reporting by Natalya Molok)