Raising a family in Singapore can be a huge strain on the wallet, and if you are somewhere between your 30s and 50s, chances are you are also financially supporting your elderly parents to some extent.
If being the “sandwich generation” in regular times isn’t hard enough, the recent inflation just makes it worse. No one is immune to these pressures—even experts like personal wealth manager Cyntalia Cipto and clinical psychologist Dr Lin Hong-Hui, both mummies themselves, are feeling the heat.
“The inflation we are experiencing now is definitely impactful when we are supporting ageing parents, growing kids and a mortgage. Medical costs and daily expenses are increasing and outpacing wage gains,” says Cyntalia who specialises in financial planning for families.
Dr Lin, who also has two young children, concurred, “My primary concern would be for medical needs because those are often unexpected.”
It isn’t just monetary stresses however. The sandwich generation often also serve as key emotional support for their parents, partners and children. “It can feel particularly distressing and unsustainable when one feels that after giving their all to others, they have no more energy left for themselves such as doing something enjoyable,” says Dr Lin, who runs her own practice at The Psychology Atelier.
And at its worst, the pressure on yourself to be perfect in all domains can lead to chronic anxiety, panic attacks, anger outbursts, burnout and other detrimental mental-emotional issues, she adds.
But it isn’t an entirely bleak picture. Dr Lin and Cyntalia remind us that while times may be tough, there are ways to cope, as long you are willing to adapt.
The most obvious way to optimally power through this season of life is to relook your spending and investments. Even the risk-averse may find themselves needing to find an instrument that earns them some passive income.
“Some of the most common mistakes clients make in terms of finances is not investing at all or lack of diversification in their portfolio,” says Cyntalia. (Diversifying your investments, that’s to say including a variety of asset types like property, equities and unit trusts, can help spread out risk of loss.)
Her money tips fall under one simple principle: stretch your dollars in spending, saving and investing.
Make your spending really count
Whether you are making purchases for daily needs or the occasional treat, consolidate your spending on one credit card that gives cash rebates monthly. And be sure to use coupons and discounts for items on the wish list.
Grow your earnings
This bears repeating; saving and investing are key to keeping your nest egg healthy, especially since inflation is here to stay. Cyntalia suggests splitting your monies into three pots: an emergency account, short-term investments and long-term investments.
Emergency funds refer to your cash savings; you should ideally hold about six months’ worth of salary if you are well covered by insurance. Short-term investments are plans like Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) or unit trusts that have a duration of five to 10 years. Meanwhile, long-term investments are meant to supplement you during your retirement years—they can be anything from annuities to property.
Get organised
This doesn’t just relate to finances, but also your personal life and physical health. Set goals, plan ahead and review your progress so life doesn’t become a whirlwind that you struggle to keep up with.
When faced with difficulties, you may have been conditioned to grin and bear it. Keep calm and carry on is the best way forward, isn’t it? Well, that depends.
While perseverance and determination are great virtues to have, you need to also care for your basic physical and emotional needs—without good health, you can’t function well and deliver positive outcomes.
Dr Lin likens the human body to a car. In order for a car to power up and perform, it needs to stop sometimes to prevent its engine from overheating; regular maintenance to ensure safety and proper functioning; and refuelling for movement.
“Self-care is that regular maintenance and refuelling. It should be a default part of our daily routine rather than an afterthought, if we want to function well for a long time,” adds Dr Lin who suggests the following advice for the sandwich generation.
Self-care need not be fancy
The best self-care is the awareness of needing that TLC in any given moment. Do daily check-ins by asking “What am I feeling right now? How can I care for myself so I feel stronger?” and allow yourself a time-out. Sometimes, it can be as simple as getting up for a stretch, clipping your nails for a break, drinking a glass of water or treating yourself to some ice-cream.
It is okay to drop the ball, as long as it’s the right one
Health and relationships are like glass balls that drop and break, while all other things in life are rubber balls that can bounce back. “When feeling overwhelmed, discern which balls can be dropped, even if it is just for the moment,” she says.
Prioritise your children’s current needs to prevent future stress
“A child’s core need is to have a loving and safe relationship with their parents or caregiver, not expensive learning aids or toys,” says Dr Lin. When this core need is fulfilled, your kids will thrive cognitively, emotionally and physically and will have less behavioural issues down the road.
This article was originally published on Oct 12, 2022 and updated on June 10, 2023.