In front of strangers, my eldest used to become really quiet. Because of that, many people told me that I was not talking to her enough and that she should see a specialist to check if anything was wrong with her.

How did the comments make you feel?

At the moment when the comments were said, they didn’t upset me. But after I kept thinking about them, I became quite upset, especially because I was a new mother then and didn’t know what to expect. I took their comments quite seriously; sometimes I cried as well.

They made me feel like I was a bad mum. I felt like I wasn’t doing well enough – or not as well as other mums.

Over time, because of the comments, it became really stressful for me to put myself in front of people. I was scared that they would judge me for how I handled my child in front of them.

I also felt really alone, as I had little mum friends then.

My mum friend (from church) gave me advice and said she understood where the comments were coming from. But I really just wanted someone to tell me that everything was okay and to not take them too seriously.

Yes, but I handled them better. After my experience with my first child, such comments didn’t mean much to me anymore, and I let them wash over me. I realised that they didn’t see my everyday life with the kids; they were just getting a glimpse of it so they just said what they felt like saying.

How would you advise parents (or even your younger self) to deal with these types of situations?

Let people say what they want to say. You are the only one who knows how your parenting is going.

But it’s also important not to hold all the negative things to yourself. You need to have someone who listens to you and who is on your side.

Lastly, and most importantly, being a happy mum is the best thing your children can have.

She loves talking to people now! It didn’t happen overnight, though. She only became more sociable after having a little sister. She loved to introduce the whole family to her friends when we met them. I also brought her (with the younger one) to the playground every single weekday as her kindergarten teachers encouraged us to have her interact with other kids. That was when we noticed that she was no longer shy!

Now, she loves talking to strangers. I like to bring my kids to my pop-ups me so that they can help out. After observing how I make my products, my eldest will share with customers what each product is; she does this all without me teaching her.

My kids often watch me when I’m making the products, and during these moments, I don’t really want to be disturbed. Because of this, they sometimes don’t like it when I make jewellery for Melmomilk Design.

I’m honestly still learning how to balance work and home life. It can get quite frustrating because while there are things that I really want to complete for work, the kids come first. So whenever they say that they want to drink or eat something, I have to go to the kitchen and make it for them. And when they want to play while I’m working, it can get frustrating.

While it’s difficult, I try to explain to them why I’m not free at the moment. The way I phrase it is, “I have this pop-up coming this weekend, and I have a lot of things to do. So you need to give me some time to complete my work. After that, I will play with you.” When the kids understand this, it’s easier for me to handle them.

What advice would you give to mums who want to start their business but are also looking after their kids?

My daughters were about six and two when I started my brand, and I didn’t have any help. I could only use the time I had when my kids were at school or after they fell asleep.

It’s really hard for those without helpers or help from family. So I’d advise them to start a bit later when the kids are in kindergarten or primary school. You’ll have the whole morning to yourself and the business. And you can set aside the afternoon for the kids.

As a mum, I often feel like I am the last line of defence when it comes to solving problems. Even if my partner or other family members try to help, there is often an expectation that I will eventually step in and provide the ultimate solution.

If you could restart this motherhood gig, what would you do differently?

I would take it easy with my firstborn and wouldn’t try to be perfect.

What kind of support would you like more of?

I would want more support for my kids’ education. It is often difficult to teach them at home, but I don’t want them to have to attend enrichment classes every day. Sending them and waiting for them to finish classes is tiring and time-consuming.

If there is a platform where kids can learn online for free in a fun way according to their learning levels, that would save time and money.

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