Being in the moment is essential in order to have an orgasm — if your mind is elsewhere, it’s going to be a lot harder. Even if your husband is the sexiest man alive and has all the right moves, you’re going to have to do a lot more than just lie there. So forget about that nasty comment your bitchy colleague made or how you haven’t done your laundry in ages because of the constant rain. There’s another time for that. Instead, focus on what is going on right then and there and you’ll have a higher chance of success.

Coffee itself won’t affect your ability to orgasm but if you’re having, say, eight cups of coffee a day, you’re going to be on a caffeine high and you’ll find it difficult to relax. Feeling relaxed while having sex is important and it’s definitely useful in order to have an orgasm, so ditch the caffeine if you’re an addict. Try to stick to a maximum of three cups of coffee a day and your sex life will thank you.

Being sleep-deprived on a regular basis eventually affects your hormone levels and also your sex drive. Let’s face it, sex is probably the last thing on our minds when we’re feeling sleepy, tired and cranky, so you’re not going to be in the mood for an orgasm either. Get adequate sleep each night so that you’ll have a satisfying time in bed with your man.

While some people get turned on by dirty talk, trying to have a conversation during sex is a no-no. Your mind can’t possibly be on the task at hand if you’re talking about something else so don’t choose this moment to remind him that his car is due for a servicing. And if it’s him who’s doing the distracting talking, tell him to stop or just keep his mouth busy with other things instead.

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of asking for what you want. Be direct with your man so that he knows exactly how to help you reach the finish line. You can do this by guiding him while you’re in bed or sending him flirty texts during the day to tell him what you’d like him to do to you when you get home. Don’t worry about coming across as demanding — it’s often a turn-on for men when a woman knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it.

It can be hard to enjoy sex as much as you’d like to when you know there are other people in the house. For example, you could be living with either of your parents or friends or it could just be a houseguest for a few days. Whatever the case, lock your bedroom door, shut yourself off from everything else going on beyond it and concentrate on your man and getting to that Big O.

This one is self-explanatory – if you aren’t happy in your relationship, you won’t enjoy having sex with your partner and therefore won’t be able to have an orgasm either. Whether you’re married to him or just in a casual relationship isn’t important; what’s relevant is how satisfied you are with him. If he isn’t making you happy, he’s only hindering your chances of enjoying orgasms so think about what you want to do.