“Why Is Society’s Expectation Of Men So Low?’ — @Bertandlulu’s Hubert Calls Out Parenting Double Standards

When it comes to parenting, why do dads often get praise for doing the bare minimum while mums are expected to do it all? That’s the question Singapore content creator and singer-songwriter Hubert Ng, better known as Bert from the husband-and-wife Instagram duo @bertandlulu, has raised online, calling out parenting double standards that still exist.

The 33-year-old welcomed his first child in August 2025 with his wife, Yihru, 31, better known as Lulu. The pair have built a following for posting playful and relatable lifestyle content, usually centred around their couple antics. Since their daughter, nicknamed Toto, came along, it has also evolved to include the ups and downs of their parenthood journey.

Bert shares that since he’s been posting more videos of Toto and their dad-daughter interactions, he has also received more comments — some of which have left him bemused.

One viewer asked: “Do you help to take care of the baby at home?”

“What do you mean help?” he questioned. “This is my baby.”

He recounted another incident where the family of three was out, and he had Toto in a baby carrier. Someone remarked to Lulu, “He’s such a good husband. He helps you to carry Toto around.”

Another time, while he was changing Toto’s diaper in a mall, a mum who was also changing diapers exclaimed: ‘Wow! You know how to change diapers for your baby?”

Even during a doctor’s visit, the compliments kept coming. Bert was able to tell the doctor how much milk Toto was drinking, how much she was pooping, and her favourite colour. In response, she said: “You’re such a responsible dad.”

But for Bert, these compliments feel backhanded. “Isn’t this the basic that every man should be doing?”

And he’s not wrong. Parenting is supposed to be a team effort, and caregiving shouldn’t just fall on one party.

Reflecting on Lulu’s pregnancy, Bert shared that he’d witnessed how she had “suffered and sacrificed over 10 months for a healthy pregnancy.”

She had to go through a C-section due to complications and “even has a scar that’s on her forever”. He added that after the operation, she was unwell for a day and was on medication.

In his opinion, his wife is the exceptional one. “She’s the one who should be receiving praise. But nobody ever says that she’s a good mama. As if what she’s doing is basic.”

Addressing male viewers, he said: “If you are a guy watching this video and you disagree with what I say, my advice to you is:

Don’t rush to be a dad. Your priority now is to learn to become a better human being.

He ended the video with this message: “When a guy receives praises from other mums, it is not because a guy is doing an exceptional job in taking care of the baby. It is just because the other mums are full of compassion about this matter.”

“The standard expected of a guy is just too low, and we are always asking females to be more progressive, but in my opinion, the gender that needs to be more progressive and improve is us, the guys,” he added.

His video has resonated with many, amassing over 390K likes (at the time of writing), and over 5K comments, many of which echoed Bert’s perspective.

User @Cherylnobyl said: “Not-so-hot take: caring for your own child and taking an interest in their life IS basic parenting, which is why dads getting disproportional praise for it is overblown and unnecessary. If you chose to bring a child into existence, their well-being is your sole responsibility as parents, whether you’re the mum or dad. The mums who seem impressed by dads being involved in their children’s lives have that reaction because they’re simply not used to it, which is actually really sad.”

Fellow father @Itsmydadera chimed in: “It’s 2026 guys. Time to change your perception on dads. Why can’t a dad do all these? We are THE dad”

Others have shared their own experiences. @Grysherra shared: “My husband went to the mall with my daughter, and everyone asked, “Where is the mum? He got praises from everyone (including his family) for taking care our daughter.. While I got branded as a less responsible mom when I got me time for once in a blue moon”.

These comments, along with Bert’s candid take, are a reminder that parenthood is meant to be a shared responsibility. At the end of the day, it’s about showing up and being present for your child. Anyone who’s putting in the effort deserves credit, so let’s give kudos where it’s due.

Watch his video below: