Cavin Soh Used To Cane His Kids And He Doesn’t Regret It

In this era of mindful parenting that eschews physical discipline methods such as caning, veteran actor and host Cavin Soh isn’t shy to admit that caning was “the way to go” in his household — up till a few years ago.

Do we hear some relieved sighs?

On an episode of Call Us Daddy with host Allan Wu, the 54-year-old got candid about how he used to discipline his son Kayden, 14, and daughter Bethany, 12.

Spare the rod, spoil the child

When Allan brought up the topic of caning, Cavin didn’t hesitate to say he’s completely fine with it.

“I think that’s the way to go,” he says, admitting that he used to cane his kids for bad behaviour when they were young, up till they were in primary school. 

However, Cavin, who’s been married to music agency owner Serena Yeo since 2009, clarifies that he doesn’t just whip out the cane at the slightest whiff of trouble. 

He would warn his kids first, around “20 to 30” times. But if they continued pushing their luck after all those warnings, then yes, it would be cane o’clock.

And in true savvy dad fashion, Cavin shared his “little trick” for disciplining his kids when they were outside.

He would first warn them not to act up — whether it was making a fuss or refusing to eat — and if the behaviour continued after numerous verbal warnings, he’d whip out a marker. 

Waitaminute. A marker? That sounds fun. 

“I’d use a permanent marker [to draw] on their wrists,” he says. “One cross, one cane” when they get home. 

Okay, that doesn’t sound fun anymore. 

His daughter once went home sporting four crosses. She tried to make a speedy escape but Cavin wasn’t having any of it. After three strokes of the cane, he clocked that Bethany was just… “not reacting”. 

“She was tolerating the pain, and I was like, wow, this girl is very strong,” Cavin muses. 

Aftercare is important

Now, don’t mistake Cavin for some cold-hearted disciplinarian. After caning his kids, Cavin would carefully apply ointment to soothe the sting.

He recalls one conversation he had with Kayden after a caning sesh:

“Papa, you’re funny,” Kayden said. “Why?” Cavin responded. “After caning me, why did you apply the ointment for me?” his son questioned. 

Immediately, Cavin clarified that the caning isn’t about causing pain for pain’s sake but to teach his kids a lesson not to repeat dangerous or naughty behaviour.

“I did not want to cane you to put a mark on you. I caned you to make you remember that you don’t want to come back to this stage ever again,” he said.

The times where there was no warning

Still, there were instances when caning was the first response. If his kids were about to do something seriously dangerous — like hurting themselves, not holding hands when crossing the road, or fiddling with electric sockets — it was immediate caning. No ifs, no buts.

Cavin made it clear though, that he has never laid his hands on them. The cane is the chosen tool — not his hand — because, as he puts it, “[your] hands [are] not a medium to punish.” 

Looks like there’s a method to his madness after all.

But as his kids grew up, Cavin realised that “caning doesn’t work anymore” and switched to a different approach. 

“He’s bigger now, he’s grown up, and you need to talk to them,” Cavin shared.

Watch the full episode on Take Off TV here.

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