Should Children Participate In Gambling Games During Chinese New Year?

For many families, playing gambling games is one of the fun parts of Chinese New Year – we gather with our loved ones for some friendly ribbing as we spend quality time together laughing and bonding. Money is often involved in games like ban luck and mahjong and it's hard to resist the temptation to start the new year off with some extra cash. Huat ah! 

However, what us adults consider harmless fun might not have the same meaning for young children, who are obviously more easily influenced and might not immediately understand that gambling can be dangerous. It doesn't mean we shouldn't be playing such games in front of them; we just have to prepare them and keep a close eye on them too. 

Do your mental prepwork before visiting begins

“Gambling for some may be a traditional part of Chinese New Year celebrations and families may engage in friendly games with small stakes,” explains Dr Hanita Assudani, a clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling. “However, it's crucial to ensure that any activities involving children are age-appropriate and promote healthy and safe attitudes towards gambling.”

Though she stops short of prescribing a minimum age for kids to participate, Dr Assudani says that this can be an opportunity to teach children about responsible gambling, mathematical probability and the importance of understanding risks. But pre-preparation is essential and it's paramount to explain to them the difference between casual, friendly games and more serious forms of gambling, as well as the risk of addiction.

Guidelines for parents

• Don't involce real money – use sweets or toys or, with teens, very small token sums, say, 10 cents.
• Set boundaries – establish clear rules and limits. For example, limit the duration and frequency of the game, play with safe adults and set the amount/type of prizes. You should also note the signs to stop playing, such as fatigue, feeling frustrated or upset. 
• Closely supervise – watch what games the children are playing, with who, check if there are any other risky content or behaviours, such as alcohol or loud or unsafe adults.

If a gambling session doesn't meet these rules, you should reconsider getting your child involved.

“If children are unable to play safely with close supervision or pre-preparation, do not allow gambling and explain your concern for their safety, saying the game is for adults only, for example,” says Dr Assudani. “Direct them to other cultural activities and games they may be a part of.”

“As a parent, if you feel uncomfortable with your child watching or participating in gambling, it is okay to say no, and explain why. Validate their disappointment in not participating,” she adds.

Managing the disappointment of losing actual money

If you have decided that the environment is right for your child to play these gambling games, it doesn't mean you won't have to pay attention anymore. There are still certain situations that could turn uncomfortable so be prepared if your child reacts in unexpected ways.

For example, your child might get very upset when they lose money – or even if they're watching you and you're not on a winning streak. Dr Assudani says you should emphasise that gambling is a form of entertainment and losses are a possibility.

“Teach children the importance of understanding and accepting the outcomes of games,” Dr Assudani advises. “Validate their frustrations and emotions. For example, tell them that gambling is based on chance, which means we may not always win and that it's okay if we don’t win. We have other things in life that we enjoy and have fun with, like playing with your favourite toy.” 

You should also set clear limits and boundaries about the duration and amount of money that will be involved in the games, to prevent significant losses and teach budgeting, she adds.

Getting too wrapped up in gambling

It might also be the case where your child enjoys the games so much that they end up showing too much of an interest in gambling. If this happens, Dr Assudani proposes explaining to them the  potential risks associated with gambling, such as addiction and financial problems.

“Help children understand the importance of moderation and balance in their interests by using relatable examples,” she says. “For example, gambling is like chocolate, which can be fun in small doses, but too much of it may affect our health.”

“Or tell them that gambling is like playing with the claw machine – we put in the money, but we rarely win toys. If we spend all our pocket money on the claw machine….how about our food for recess or saving up for that bag you wanted?” she adds. 

And if a child initiates gambling games, gently guide them toward alternative activities that don't involve gambling. Encourage them to explore a variety of games and hobbies to broaden their interests, says Dr Assudani.

If gambling games spark an interest in gambling in general, your child could also be curious about other forms of gambling, such as buying lottery tickets or playing online games that involve money. Dr Assudani shares you should explain age restrictions and the legal aspects involved. Reinforce that some activities are meant for adults only. Direct them to other games and hobbies, such as physical play, sports or board games. 

Prepare your cautionary tales   

It's also important to tell your child how gambling can be a dangerous activity and that it shouldn't be seen as a quick way to make money or that it's just "fun bets" all the time. While parents should certainly teach their kids about the dangers of gambling, Dr Assudani warns that the advice and lessons should be tailored to the child's age. 

She has the following tips:

• Explain the probabilities of gambling and that it is based on chance. Winning is not guaranteed and there is a higher probability of losing. With teens, you can share the exact maths.
• Encourage children to ask questions and express their curiosities about gambling. 
• Discuss the financial aspects of gambling and that is it a form of entertainment that should be budgeted within limits, keeping other essentials such as food, housing and clothes in mind. Stress that it is not an easy means to earn money.
• Explain that gambling may be addictive because of the excitement and the intermittent reinforcement of winning. Emphasise the negative aspects of addiction, for example, it may be all consuming, a difficult pattern to break, plus the impact on mental health and relationships.
• Use case studies, real-life examples or storytelling with younger children. For example, some people find it difficult to stop gambling because they think it is very fun and they forget to eat, sleep or do their work.
• Behaviour modelling – children learn best from role modelling. Show them how to gamble responsibly within limits or not gamble at all.