Why I'm Hoping To Raise A Child Who Will Do Good For Others

My wife and I found out that we were expecting our first child on my birthday in November 2023 – two weeks after my father passed away. The timing felt significant because my dad was an important influence in my life.

In fact, I’ve always wanted to be the kind of dad he was: caring, loving, friendly, with lots of hugs and words of affirmation; someone my children could truly confide in.

Now that I’m a father to a 7-month-old girl, I can’t wait to give her the same unwavering love and support I received, no matter what she wants to pursue. I hope she ends up being someone who is sweet, kind, and who looks out for others – much like my father.

My dad had a unique way of teaching me about life. He owned a shipping business with flexible hours, so sometimes he’d let me skip school and spend the day with him. He called it the “Big Bear School of Life”; he was affectionately known as “Big Bear” to others as he was big and cuddly.

The biggest lessons I learnt from the Big Bear School of Life were to be kind and understanding, and always consider why people act the way they do. My dad would always put others before himself. He was always ready to help family members in need, even if it meant sacrificing some things.

Despite being plagued with health issues, he managed to do so much for society, as the founder of food charity Free Food For All. He operated like a superhero because he wanted to make the world a better place. It always made me reflect: for someone who couldn’t walk much, he did so much. What am I doing with my good health, youth and energy?

Nobody should go hungry

Feeding the underprivileged was important to him. Whenever we were out and he saw someone in need, he would never hesitate to give them food. He would tell me stories about how simple acts such as feeding animals like stray cats and dogs bring an abundance of rewards.

In 2014, he started Free Food For All, an IPC-registered charity that donates healthy, ready-to-eat meals to about 2,000 people monthly.

The beginnings of Free Food For All was simple. I was still in medical school, and my dad and I would buy bananas and nasi lemak, and distribute them at the mosque on Fridays.

My dad soon realised that he wanted to reach more people. He gradually managed to galvanise support from the community, so we started to distribute fresh food to low-income rental units. Gradually, we switched to distributing ready-to-eat meals, especially during the pandemic when it was difficult to deliver fresh rations.

Since his passing, I’ve taken on the role of chairman at Free Food For All, overseeing 10 full-time staff. We deliver monthly food aid packs and boxes, which minimises delivery costs and reduces waste.

Being able to feed someone was my father’s greatest expression of showing love and care. He didn’t discriminate based on race, nationality or background; if you were hungry, he wanted to help.

Beyond following in his footsteps and trying to keep his legacy alive, I believe that taking away that painful, uncomfortable feeling of hunger is very profound. It’s hard to focus when you’re hungry. When you take away food insecurity, you take away the mental load that comes with worrying about your next meal.

My hope for society

Life has changed dramatically since the arrival of my daughter. My priorities and perspectives have shifted. It’s like having a new boss at home – her wants and needs come first.

Parenthood has also given me a new lens through which to view the world. It’s different from the lens of a husband or son. I find myself thinking about the kind of society and environment I want to create for her – one where she can thrive and be happy.

As a physician working in a polyclinic, I have the unique privilege to see a huge variety of people. If you don’t engage with people from different backgrounds and people with a lower socioeconomic status who have different struggles from you, I think it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that everything’s good, everyone’s just like you, and everyone has the same goals as you.

In our everyday life, we can do better when it comes to really caring for our neighbours. Is this guy eating? Is he lonely? Are his children visiting him? Especially in busy Singapore, it can be difficult to have the cognitive and emotional bandwidth to engage with others. But I hope we can have a more integrated, caring and loving society.

Being a role model

As my daughter grows up, I am curious to understand what she will think of the world and how we can both grow together as both parent and child.

It sounds a little strange, but when I was in primary school, my dad would call me his prime minister. We would bounce ideas off each other. I don’t think I was the most precocious child, but I was fairly cognisant of what was going on and had my own set of morals back then. He valued my opinion, even at a young age, and that instilled in me a sense of agency and critical thinking.

I want to foster that same spirit in my daughter. I want her to feel heard and valued. I am excited to see this little girl – who now mainly cries, sleeps, smiles and laughs – grow up. How will she talk, how will she think?

For now, I have just enrolled in a master's programme in medicine. I want to be a parent my daughter is proud of. I want her to see that although Daddy is busy and things are tough, he pushes himself to his best ability.

Before my daughter was born, I went on a mini pilgrimage to Umrah. I prayed that my child would be among the righteous, be a good kid, and do good for the people around her.

I hope she has a comfortable life, and doesn’t have to struggle. In Singapore, doing well academically puts you at a good starting point. But ultimately, as long as she does something permissible, does a little bit of good for the world, and something of benefit to others, I think I will be proud of her, regardless of what she does.

Dr Shaik Ahmad is a new dad, resident physician at Pasir Ris Polyclinic, and chairman of Free Food For All, a charity started by his late father, Nizar Mohamed Shariff.

Watch Dr Shaikh Ahmad's inspiring story in Episode 2 of Singapore Dreamin’, a heartwarming makeover series that gives local SMEs the tech, work, and confidence upgrade of a lifetime. Hosted by Irene Ang, and empowered by Singtel, these stories show how every dream can come alive with the right tools and guidance. And to that, we say: Hello, possibilities.

Art direction: Michelle Lee, assisted by Nikki LowPhotography: Clement GohWardrobe (suit): Lena KamarudinHair and grooming: Cheong Wee Kit/Sō Salon