Evelyn Tan and Darren Lim Are Total Parenting Goals — Here’s Why

When it comes to Singaporean celebrity couples and their families, a pair that quickly comes to mind is Evelyn Tan and Darren Lim. Evelyn Tan was a Star Search contestant in 1997 and quickly rose in popularity to be named the "Fifth Ah Jie" alongside Zoe Tay, Fann Wong, Ann Kok, and Phyllis Quek. Meanwhile, Darren Lim was building his career as an actor and host, participating in productions such as The Little Nyonya (2008). Married for 21 years, the couple has four children named Kristen, Jairus, Way and Elliott. Ahead, we are drawing lessons from the adorable family as we find out why and how Evelyn Tan and Darren Lim are parenting goals.

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1. They worked hard to overcome their parents' disapproval

Because of the playboy characters he played on television, Evelyn Tan's parents did not think highly of Darren Lim when they started dating. "They thought that I was sloppy and unreliable". This was further compounded by the fact that she was a university graduate while he did not complete secondary school. Her parents, unsurprisingly, wanted a son-in-law who had better prospects. This did not deter Darren, though, who worked harder to prove his worth through action and time, eventually winning over both Evelyn and her parents.

This perhaps shaped Darren and Evelyn's perspective on their children's relationships. When asked if they would object to their kids' relationships when the time comes, Darren admits that they would not as long as they have met the partner and observed how the couple gets along.

2. They share common values

Sharing common values as both a couple as well as parents is integral — it creates a unified foundation for how you raise your children and navigate family life. When reflecting on the start of their relationship, Evelyn admitted that she had already developed feelings for him. She also appreciated that they shared the same values and believed that her father would come to see him in a good light.

Nevertheless, she was not ready to commit to him just yet, observing and dating him for six years before tying the knot. Darren, on the other hand, fell in love at first sight after the pair worked together in the 1998 musical production of Beauty World and proposed to her shortly after the two started dating.

3. They complement each other

Every good partnership needs balance. Evelyn has revealed that she is the more cautious one and makes decisions "after careful deliberation," while Darren "seeks out experiences." The couple also supports each other at home. He becomes more hands-on with parenting when he is not busy acting while she cares for the kids and keeps the home front in order when he needs to focus on his job.

4. They give back to society as a family

In Sep 2024, Darren Lim took Evelyn Tan and their four children to participate in a charity walk organised by Blossom Seeds. The family also showed up to support Darren's 96-year-old grandfather who had started going to the active ageing centre.

"After hearing that the centre was going to hold a charity walk, I immediately thought about what I could do besides donating and volunteering. Later, I thought that by having four generations of my family participate, we could better express our support for the centre and also encourage the elderly to go out more and not stay at home all day."

5. Evelyn upskilled herself to better homeschool her children

ICYDK, Evelyn left the entertainment industry when she became a mother. She also decided to homeschool her children. Homeschooling their eldest child, daughter Kristen, went smoothly. The next two children, sons Jairus and Way, were more difficult as they needed more guidance to read and understand concepts. "It was really quite tough. I saw other kids do well and thought that I, the homeschool mum, was the one who was teaching badly."

The two were later diagnosed with dyslexia, while the youngest son, Elliott, also exhibited traits. Thankfully, Evelyn upskilled herself with the Dyslexia and Literacy Teaching course by the Dyslexia Association of Singapore in 2016 and learnt how to better homeschool her children. She added that she would not have homeschooled her children if she knew that her sons were dyslexic. Elliott was eventually enrolled into the public school system as she was tied up with Jairus and Way.

6. They take on an active role in their children's lives

On the decision to homeschool their children, Evelyn Tan said, "We’ve always wanted them to be able to be independent from an early age, which is why we home-school them because we’ll be able to balance their academic needs and life skills." She also tweaked her teaching methods to support her children's education, such as getting a teacher to guide and answer the questions that her daughter might have had.

In a 2017 article on how celebrity parents keep their children safe online, Darren Lim shared several methods that the couple employ. He went on to share that both he and Evelyn take on an active role in their children's lives so that they do not yearn for the attention of strangers online. "My wife and I are very involved with our children’s lives and we watch over all the things they do and showing them attention is important so that they don’t feel lost and neglected and look for attention online by chatting with strangers."

7. They work with their children to set boundaries

Like every parent, Evelyn Tan and Darren Lim also contend with their kids and their use of mobile devices. The couple shared the rules that the children have to follow: no phones at the dining table when they are in the car together, and no games after midnight, except for certain weekends. "But teenagers being teenagers, we set the rules and the rules are made to be broken so we will have all those conversations with them," said Evelyn, who admits to being the more negotiable of the two.

Darren also revealed in 2017 how they limit their children's screen time. "My children only get to use electronic devices, including watching TV, for one hour each on Saturday and Sunday [and never on weekdays]. If they have to use it for studying, it’d be under the supervision of my wife. It’s been like that since day one, so they respect the rules and they don’t whine about it."

8. They support their children's endeavours

Evelyn Tan shared in a 2024 interview that her eldest child, Kristen, has ambitions to follow in her parents' footsteps in the entertainment industry. "My daughter has always been very taken by the media and the magic of acting and all, so she has voiced out since young that this is where she wants to be." Despite advice from her parents about the pressures of the industry, Kristen would still like to pursue the path, driven not by fame, but by her love for the performance arts. She is also pursuing a Diploma in Digital Film and Television.

"She has applied to a few schools in the United States. It’s not that she’s headed towards Hollywood, but that’s where a lot of filmmakers, and actresses, if they make it big, they make it big. And she would look back on her life and say she has pursued those dreams of hers. So I leave it up to her. I think that’s what every parent wants to do, to [have their kids] pursue the dreams that keep them alive. It helps to know that the child is also sensible, to have taken our advice. They know this at the back of their minds and they’re actively looking for other things that can support them."

Evelyn wants to support their children's pursuit of their dreams. "At the end of the day, I think it’s really true that we cannot dictate the decisions they make with their lives, but at least they're not afraid to consult us about certain things. We’re there to offer support and a shoulder to cry on if things don’t work out.

We’ve recognised that some of our kids can be quite strong-headed, and I think that rather than telling them that where they’re headed is a no-go, we would like them to pursue and go where their dreams call them to go and not hold them back. At the same time, we let them know we’re always here to help them along."

On a 2022 show, Darren Lim echoed a similar sentiment, adding that parents need to let things go and allow children to learn from failure. "Actually, one needs to learn how to fall. This is something all parents need to learn, [they need] to know when to let go, to let them experience things for themselves."

9. They support each others' careers

After an 18-year-long hiatus, Evelyn Tan returned to the small screen in the Mediacorp production Moments. Filming began in Oct 2023 and she shared that she decided to take on the role "after learning that it was not a heavy role and receiving the encouragement of my husband."

"I have been thinking whether I should return to the entertainment industry or forge a new career path. I have to take this step and the entertainment industry is a familiar environment, so (returning) is not bad."

After years of supporting the household, perhaps it is time for Darren Lim to be the homemaker so that Evelyn can explore her own path back in showbiz.

10. They want their children to experience the world

Some of you may not remember this, but once upon a time, Darren Lim, Evelyn Tan, and their four kids lived on a catamaran for multiple years, even sailing as far as Thailand. On the decision to lead such an unconventional lifestyle, Darren said, "I want to travel and see the world more, let the kids experience more stuff while they are still young." Not only did they intend to 'world-school' their children, but the experience also helped them to work together and support each other. In hindsight, Darren wishes to pass on this ethos of life to his kids, "It’s about the spirit of searching and experiencing all that life can offer. Never settle for what others define as your limit."