I Had 2 Elective C-Sections And Have Zero Regrets

Motherhood brings unique joys and pains to every mum, and we are better off acknowledging that. In this series called Mum Truths, mums reveal their secret successes, miseries and gripes about parenting in a no-holds-barred first-person recount.

Say whatever you want, like I’m “too posh to push”, or it’s “the lazy way out” or that it’s not “the natural way”, but I still have no regrets about having two elective C-sections. 

Would I say that my decision to have an elective C-section was motivated by fear? Yes, not even just a little. My husband’s family is known for big babies (4kg and above) and my mother and her sisters all had C-sections, and I take after them in being not very big. 

Pregnancy in itself is a strange thing that changes your body and your mindset, and preparing for birth – often painted as one of the scariest things to happen to your body – was without a doubt one of the most anxiety-inducing experiences of the whole process. I was so scared of the birth that I forgot to think about the actual motherhood part – but that’s another story for another time.

Naturally, after getting pregnant, I had to source stories and experiences from my mum friends (who are few and far between). Of course, I had read and heard research about natural births being better for babies, how you heal better after it, and how the baby benefits more from passing through the birth canal. I’d also read and heard the murmurings that having an elective C-section made you “weak” and a little selfish. 

So at the beginning, even though I already thought a C-section sounded like a good idea, I spent most of my pregnancy trying to be open to other options. In a sense, that helped make everything feel low-pressure. We were happy to leave it to the end to decide, and my gynaecologist was supportive either way (though he, too, cautioned that my first baby was looking big).

But by the time week 39 rolled around, I was done. Carrying around a heavy, unbalanced bowling ball that enjoyed middle-of-the-night jumping parties was taking a toll. Pregnancy is SO HARD in the last trimester, no matter how fit you are…and the baby was showing NO SIGNS of coming out.

Her due date was projected for 1 Feb, and in the last week of January my gynae was literally giving the hands-up emoji. He also said there was a good chance she’d be pushing 4kg or more if we waited for her to come naturally. It was this, plus the discomfort and the unknown, that led us (well, really, me, since my husband was supportive of my decision) to book a C-section soon after.

Was it a little impulsive? Maybe. But I never regretted it.

Looking back, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I loved knowing what was going to happen and when – and I don’t feel guilty about that. Parenting is hard, and there is so much that happens afterwards that you don’t know about. Being able to control this one thing really gave me peace of mind. So much so that I was ready and willing to book my second elective C-section almost immediately after getting pregnant again.

The second time around went even more smoothly than the first. I knew what to expect; I knew what my gynae’s protocols were for C-section mothers and appreciated them better. I was also up and walking by the end of the day the second time around, so overall, I felt good about my decision.

I’ve seen on Instagram and other places that there is “magic” lost in a C-section but I disagree.

There is magic in meeting your baby, no matter how you do it.

And I felt well cared for and in safe hands with my gynaecologist and his team. Being free of pain when meeting my daughter for the first time was also something I’ll always cherish (though I will say the shakes I got both times after were totally unpleasant. Nothing is perfect, after all. And it’s still major surgery).

Ultimately, you make the choice that feels right for you and your family, and I’ll never regret this one for mine. Four years later, my babies are both healthy, thriving, and loud. And forty years from now, no one is going to ask them whether they were born “naturally” or via C-section. It won’t matter. At the end of the day, this decision is a small one you have to make on the rocky road that is the parenting journey, so don’t worry about it too much.

When your child is jumping off the couch or sticking marbles up their nose, you won’t have time to wonder whether having a C-section was the right decision or not. 

Karen Fong is a new mum to two young girls and is surviving motherhood by applying a wry sense of humour (and a lot of eye-rolling and complaining) to the weird and wacky situations that come her way. DM her at @karentanfong to commiserate about party goodie bags, sick babies and travelling with a billion pieces of luggage (but she doesn’t have her kids on her account because this.)