“I Say I Don’t Judge Parents, But I Secretly Do” — And 31 Other Mum Confessions
Messy, raw, and way too real
By Estelle Low -
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As 2025 comes to a close (just two months left!), I think it’s safe to say: mums are seriously tired. Not the “I need a nap” kind of tired, but the “please let me exist in silence for 10 minutes” kind.
So when The Singapore Women’s Weekly hosted our first-ever SWW PAUSE (Please Allow Us a Short Escape) — a tea session at Grand Mercure Singapore Roxy’s Jia Wei Chinese Restaurant — it felt like the perfect opportunity to do just that: pause.
Twenty-two mums showed up that Friday afternoon, ready to connect over tea, dim sum, and two hours away from responsibilities (hey, two hours is still something!). With about half the room being introverts (myself included), I braced for awkward silences. But there was none.
After a quick icebreaker, the mums dove straight into conversation — swopping stories about parenting, work, and how they even made it to the event (which, honestly, is a story in itself). Watching them connect over double-boiled fish maw soup, har gow, and siew mai was as comforting as an episode of Bon Appétit, Your Majesty. I almost didn’t want to interrupt their chatter to start our main activity — confessions — but someone had to do it.
I invited each mum to pen down a secret thought (or two) about motherhood or married life. Their confessions would remain anonymous and be read aloud later, in the spirit of solidarity.
Perhaps I went in with minimal expectations, but I wasn’t prepared for how deep and honest the confessions would be. Some were funny, some were raw, and some were the kind of thoughts you’d only admit to your closest friend — or maybe not.
“I wish I could just run away and travel like a student carefree! No kids!”
“I say I don’t judge parents, but I secretly do.”
“I have no energy to make love at night. But hubby feels I have energy for my child all the time. :(”
As each confession was read aloud, I asked everyone to close their eyes and raise their hands if they could relate. And just like that, hands went up — over and over again. Quietly. Vulnerably.
That’s when it hit me: almost every mum in that room had felt or thought the same things at some point. We just don’t say them out loud.
There was so much relief in that space. Relief in knowing you’re not the only one who sometimes wishes for a break, feels resentment you can’t quite admit, or loves your family fiercely but misses the version of yourself before motherhood.
Throughout the sharing, nobody was multitasking or rushing to the next thing. We were just there — fully present and connected in the most unexpected way. If I may speak for everyone, I think we’d all have loved to stay another hour unpacking those confessions.
Still, we left feeling a little lighter. The confessions had done what therapy, group chats, and parenting memes sometimes can’t — they reminded us that we’re all just human. That’s what SWW PAUSE was created for: to give ourselves permission to stop, reflect, and remember that we’re not alone in this wild ride called motherhood.
And because no one should have to miss out on this collective exhale, here’s a look at the real, raw, and occasionally hilarious confessions that mums shared that afternoon.
Go on — see if any of these sound familiar.
Me time & identity confessions
Spouse confessions
Sex confessions
In-laws confessions
Parenting confessions
School life confessions
If you’d like to be part of moments like this, join our SWW Village — a supportive community for mums in Singapore to connect, share, and grow together. Sign up here to be notified about upcoming events, including the next SWW PAUSE.