#MumStory: MMA Champion Angela Lee Is "Living The Dream" With Daughter Ava
"She's there every single day, for every single practice."
By Terri Kue -
#MumStory is a series by The Singapore Women's Weekly to uncover the underrated and underreported moments in motherhood and parenting -- because we believe every mum has a story worth telling. Got a story to share? Email us at sww@sph.com.sg or slide into our DMs on Instagram.
Most of us know Angela Lee as the six-time MMA World Champion. However, she is also One Championship's first-ever #MUMCHAMP. After welcoming Ava Marie into the world in April 2021, she has had to balance her MMA career with being a mum - which, as many of us know, is a full-time job in itself.
While it may not be easy, Angela shares that her daughter is nothing short of a "blessing" in her life. With Ava Marie in the training room with her, "every single day, for every practice", she is able to be in a "better mindset" during training. Continue reading to find out more about Angela's #MumStory.
The pregnancy wasn't planned. It wasn't like '"now we're gonna have a family". It was a surprise! But ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be a mum and have my own family.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was raised in an amazing family with amazing parents. And my mum was always someone I looked up to. Family has always been such an important thing to me growing up. I've always had that motherly instinct since I'm the oldest. I have three younger siblings and I'm always looking after them. I've also naturally loved babies. So yeah, becoming a mum was something that I knew I wanted, and was going to happen eventually.
Being a mum now... I'm just so happy. I'm living the dream. So the pregnancy was really perfect; it was such a blessing.
How did you feel about kids before becoming a mum? How do you feel about them now after having Ava Marie?
I've always loved kids. I've always loved babies. I just think they're hilarious. Like, you know, little humans. Now that I have my own, she is so funny. She is learning so fast and I'm really amazed at how quickly she picks up on things. Babies have their own little personalities; mine has a big one. They are such a blessing.
It's not easy. It definitely takes a lot of planning, a lot of schedules, and a lot of people to help. So, you know, that's one thing I'm very grateful for. I'm lucky that my family is all in the same kind of business. So my husband can help out with Ava. He also comes on the mats and trains with me and then my mum is always with Ava. Or Christian, my brother, and his wife, Katie - they always love having Ava over to play with their daughter.
Our family lifestyle and our training lifestyle are very intertwined. It's kind of meshed cohesively. Everything's in sync and everything complements each other.
And I think that, truly, you won't see any other family or team like it.
Yeah, always! She's there every single day, for every single practice. She loves watching me train on the mat. She loves helping to coach too, so she's a mad baby for sure.
It's great. It brings a lot of good energy to the training room, I'd say. Everything's very positive and I think I'm in a better mindset now that Ava is here.
Were there instances where you had to sacrifice your time with Ava for your training or vice versa?
It was a little bit difficult for me because I had #mumguilt at the very beginning. She was just a few months old, and I was already in the gym training. Sometimes I would feel guilty that I'm on the mats, training when I felt like she needed me.
And, you know, she's always gonna need me. But I think that it is important to have a balance. Training, fighting, and doing MMA is something that I love to do. It's one of my outlets; one of my passions.
I think that when you become a mum, it's important not to lose that part of yourself. Balance is very important.
Outsiders may look at it as: "You're being selfish. Your kid needs you, and you're out here training and exercising." But for me, to be the best mum that I can be, I need to have my outlet. I need to have that me-time so that I can go back to Ava and give her my best.
For that one to two hours that I'm training, I'm solely focusing on the techniques. I'm focusing on bettering myself as a fighter. Then as soon as class is over, boom, I'm back to being 100 per cent a mum focusing on Ava. So having that time to go back and forth and having that little bit of a break, I feel like I'm able to give my best as a mum and as a fighter, you know?
There are a lot of challenges with each stage. Now she's one and a half, so she's in the toddler stage throwing tantrums and new things are happening all the time. Having patience with her is something that I knew I'd have to practice; being a mum, you need a lot of patience. But I also don't want to beat myself up too bad if I lose it for one moment.
I mean, we're all humans, we all make mistakes. And if I could have been a little bit more patient, I don't want to beat myself up too much about it.
There's no handbook for how to be good parents. And I'm giving myself grace with that. Also, just knowing that... she's one and a half and doesn't know any better. So it's my job as a mum and as a parent to teach her and raise her the right way.
There are so many things that I've learned, after having my first child, that later on, when I have more kids, I'm going to be like, "Oh, I know this now". They are things that I learned through experience and that no one can really share with me, because every journey and every child is different.
About #mumguilt... After you give birth, it's a very emotional time where your hormones and everything are out of whack. So I struggled internally and felt guilty. But I would tell myself:
It's okay. It's all normal. Don't compare yourself to other mothers and other people's journeys because everyone's different. You're doing great. You're taking it at your own pace.
Some days I would feel the pressure to get my body back quicker. That I needed to be back in the gym faster. Sometimes I'd be frustrated that I wasn't progressing fast enough. But I'd just tell myself to be patient and have grace for myself.
I think one or two. I don't know! Right now, my husband and I are really enjoying Ava. All of our attention, love, and energy are put towards her.
Since our schedules are so busy, I don't think it'd be fair to add more kids right now. We want to give Ava our all. But later down the road after I'm done with MMA, I think that would be the right time to have more babies.
The time that I spend with Bruno now is even more precious because of the fact that our schedules and our lives are so busy. All of our focus and energy is spent on Ava during the day. So when we finally put her to bed and we get an hour before bed, we're bonding, watching our favourite TV show.
If we finally get one date, then we savour every moment of it. Just us-time. Having a kid really took our relationship to the next level where we truly appreciate the time that we have together, even if it's a smaller amount of time now.
What's been happening lately is that sometimes I have to tell Ava "no". Like, she has to learn to respect the word "no" and what it means. But sometimes when I tell her "no", she'll go to Bruno and he'll just give it to her. And I'm like, "What are you doing?!"
So we sometimes have different opinions about things. But I think it's just about compromise. At the end of the day, you're a team. Bruno and I, we're a team where as mum and dad, we should be making the decisions together. I know he wants what's best for Ava. I want what's best for Ava. As long as we have that in agreement, everything else will be fine.
That's really hard to choose. I don't think I can choose just one thing. I love the whole experience and who I am as a person and a mother.
I'm loving this new Angela. I think that being a mother is so fulfilling.
Having Ava Marie is definitely the greatest thing that I could have done in my life.