These Mums Are Using TikTok To Build A Close-Knit Parenting Community 

If you’re a parent who’s on TikTok, you’ve probably chanced upon @thatmomchat on your For You page. Started in October 2021 by Agnes (Aggy) Low and Esther Rachel, two mothers in their early 30s, @thatmomchat is a fast-growing account on TikTok, with over 5,000 followers and counting. 

In the world of social media, where picture-perfect parenting often takes centrestage, these two mums are breaking convention and creating a space for authentic conversations about motherhood. The duo make for an interesting pair – Aggy, who is a new mum to a 15-month-old son brings a fresh take to parenting, while Esther, who has three daughters (aged 2, 8 and 12), provides a more seasoned perspective. 

How it began

It all started when Aggy was pregnant and was seeking advice from Esther, who was introduced to her by her husband. In fact, it was Aggy’s husband who suggested the idea of creating a TikTok channel for mums. As the two women shared their experiences with each other and swapped parenting tips, they realised the value of sharing their collective knowledge to help other mums on their journey. In October 2021, @thatmomchat was born, and quickly became a fun and engaging space for mums to connect and learn from one another.

“When we first started the account, Aggy and I agreed that we didn’t want to sugarcoat our experiences,” Esther says. “Very often, the parenting content out there offers a rose-tinted view of how things really are. We wanted to represent how a parent actually feels in the day to day – from the mundane routines to the downright frustrating moments where we feel like we cannot go on but still have to. We wanted to let other mums know that whatever they’re feeling is valid and it’s okay to not be perfect.”

The highs and lows of motherhood 

For Esther, who first became a mother at 19 years old, the most challenging part of her journey was struggling to balance school with caring for a baby. “That was really the hardest period of my life,” she recalls. “I was still studying so I had to go to school while pregnant. It was also a big struggle for us, financially.”

Despite going on to have two more children, she admits that she still feels stress and anxiety. “It’s especially stressful when your child is sick,” Esther says. “One of my daughters has had five incidences of fever since March this year and my second daughter has dyslexia so I always have to be there to coach her with her homework. This is on top of having my own work to do, household chores to catch up on… it’s really a lot.”

“I feel that I’m luckier than Esther because I only became pregnant later in life, when I was more stable financially,” says Aggy. “It also helps that I have Esther and other mum friends to help me on my journey. That said, I’m still trying to get used to the transition into motherhood. Becoming a mother is a complete shift – physically, mentally and emotionally.” 

Real life vs reel life 

During their livestream sessions, Aggy and Esther talk about the challenges they face, alongside a wide spectrum of topics, such as early pregnancy symptoms and how to handle them, accepting one's postpartum body, and whether or not to put your child in childcare. They even touch on intimate subjects such as sex during pregnancy and dealing with cheating partners. While their audience has mostly been supportive, Aggy says they’ve had to deal with their fair share of naysayers. 

“One of the hardest things about putting our parenting journey online is opening ourselves up to people who might mum-shame us,” she shares. “Even when I post certain things on my own Instagram account, people will question why am I doing this-and-that or wearing such-and-such. It can be demoralizing for us a bit but we always try to be more forgiving to ourselves and remind ourselves that we’re still learning as we go.” 

Aggy adds that while they don’t engage with rude commenters or Internet trolls, they do try their best to answer genuine questions. “If we get a question during a livestream, we will try to address it on the spot or ask other audience members for their point of view,” she says, which adds to the community spirit of the account.

Self-care as a mum 

While the two say they have very different approaches to parenting – Aggy is more high-strung whereas Esther is more laid-back – they both agree that it’s important to fill one’s cup in order to be more present as a parent. 

“Before I had a helper, it was pretty much just work and kids for me,” reflects Esther. “I do enjoy being a mum and spending time with my kids, but I am grateful whenever friends volunteer to come over and help me out or when my mum takes over for a few hours so I can have some respite.” She adds, “Now that I have a helper, I have a bit more of a social life – in my downtime, I try to go for yoga or catch up with friends.” 

“Before I had a child, I used to exercise every day but now I have to plan my workouts around his naps,” Aggy shares. “Sometimes, that might mean I only have 15 minutes to work out at home, but that’s okay.” 

What viewers can look forward to 

Looking to the future, the two have ambitious plans for @thatmomchat. Aggy and Esther say they aim to become the ultimate destination for parents seeking advice, tips, and tricks on parenting. They envision featuring guest appearances and introducing additional hosts to expand their reach. However, their core focus will always be creating relatable content that resonates with parents.

In a world where mums are often pressured to live up to unrealistic standards, @thatmomchat provides a breath of fresh air. Aggy and Esther's dedication to normalising the challenges and triumphs of motherhood creates a space where mums can find solace, share their experiences, and celebrate the imperfections that make each journey unique.