Is It Ever OK To Prank Your Kids?
Sure, pulling tricks can be amusing but could the experience do more harm than good for the young ones? We ask a psychologist
With 1.7m TikTok followers and over 673,000 Instagram followers, 26-year-old Naomi Neo is arguably one of Singapore’s most notable influencers. Her style, sweet look and seemingly IG-perfect lifestyle have been admired by her many fans.
However, when Naomi posted a #ghostprank video on her TikTok account last month, the public’s reactions were mixed.
Posted on 11 August 2022, the video — which has garnered a whopping 2.4m likes to date — showed Naomi, her hubby Han and 4-year-old son Kyzo in a bathroom. The couple then scurried off, closing the door behind them and leaving Kyzo alone.
Towards the end of the video, Kyzo immediately became petrified and ran for the door when a ghost figure appeared on the mobile screen. To make matters worse, the child couldn’t open the door even after trying a second time.
As of today, the video has drawn over 28,609 comments, some of which saw the “fun” in the prank, reacting with laughing emoticons. A netizen commented: “This is so entertaining to watch.” Another added, “Lol like me when I was 4.”
However others weren’t too impressed by the viral video, with one commenter writing: “Don’t do that, he will be traumatised.” “I don’t think this is funny at all,” wrote another.
A few days later, Naomi posted a follow-up video, captioning it: “Appreciate the advice, but let’s not tell a mom/dad what works best for their kids.”
The clip started with Kyzo telling Naomi: “I want to do again [sic].” In response, Naomi turned on the ghost filter and this time, Kyzo could be seen laughing. At the end of the video, the mother and son smiled into the camera with the ghost filter in the background.
That’s not all. Naomi posted another prank video this month, tricking Kyzo into believing that the rest of the family is going to Australia without him. After learning that he couldn’t join the family trip, Kyzo broke into tears.
Parents playing jokes on their children isn’t new. In fact, there are already such videos on social media. But does that mean it’s okay to tease the young ones? And how far is too far? We reached out to Syaza Hanafi, Clinical Psychologist at Psychology Blossom for answers.
SWW: In your opinion, what constitutes a prank on kids?
Syaza Hanafi (SH): “I would say it’s a safe yet funny way to trick and humour your kids or when you play a practical joke on them.”
SWW: Based on Naomi's viral TikTok video, what are some repercussions that could happen to the child?
SH: “The child could be traumatised from the event. He could develop a fear of being alone, being trapped in a room or a fear of ghosts. It may cause the child to lose trust in his family, feel humiliated or lose a sense of safety in his own home.”
SWW: What advice would you give to parents who think it is okay to prank their children?
SH: “Parents have to understand the difference between joking and causing emotional pain, and where to draw the line. They have to be mindful of the potential repercussions it may cause the child, however trivial it may seem.”
SWW: Does a prank affect a child's psychological development?
SH: “From the clients we see, a prank can affect a child’s sense of safety and trust as it gives a message that the most important people in your life can be unpredictable, or even harm and abandon you.
A child may also develop stress and anxiety symptoms as they are hyper vigilant for when the next prank might take place. They might develop phobias, or even OCD as they engage in safety or checking behaviours to ensure their environment is safe.
Pranks may also harm a child’s developing self-esteem as it may be viewed as a harmful expression of hostility from their caregivers.”
SWW: Assuming a couple has pranked their young kids, what should they do to minimise the negative impact on the children?
SH: “Soothe the child. Validate the feelings of the child (whether they’re scared, upset, angry). Apologise for causing them harm, assure them that they are safe and ask them what they need to feel safe again.”
SWW: Do children exhibit any signs of "damage" post prank? If yes, what are the common signs?
SH: “They could include bed-wetting, throwing tantrums or screaming, excessive crying, thumb-sucking, refusing to sleep without the light on, having nightmares, wanting to sleep with parents and being hyper vigilant of surroundings.”
SWW: How can children recover from the trauma of a prank?
SH: “Parents can play a big role in helping their child recover from the trauma of a prank. They can soothe them and assure them of their safety. If trust is broken, therapy can provide safety to a child by openly sharing and expressing their feelings.
We provide a safe space for children to talk about the traumatic event, to share their thoughts and emotions and how to cope with triggers.”
SWW: Under what circumstances (if any), are pranks okay to be carried out on kids?
SH: “It’s okay when the parents are the subject of the prank, the nature of the pranks are silly and goofy and are not scary or harmful and the parents are absolutely aware of their children’s limits.
Parents should also keep it within the family and not online. This is because they shouldn’t risk the entertainment value of the prank at the expense of their child’s emotional well-being.”