My Daughter Got Her Period At 10. I Wish I’d Prepared Her Earlier

I thought I had more time.

I got my first period at 11, so somewhere in my head, I assumed my daughter would probably follow the same timeline.

When she was around nine, we had a cosy conversation about the birds and the bees in a swimming pool. It felt like a safe space to talk freely, so I explained what periods were (“what you get when your body is ready to have babies but you are not pregnant”), why they happen (“when your egg doesn’t get fertilised and your uterus lining needs to be shed”), and how they are part of growing up.

I thought that counted as period prep.

What I stopped short of was the practical – and awkward – part: what exactly to do when your period comes. How to put on a pad. What to do if your underwear gets stained. How often to change a pad. Who to go to if I was not there.

A little ashamed to admit this, but I was also waiting for her school to start sexuality education in Primary 5 before I properly stepped into the conversation at home. I thought the school lessons would give me a natural starting point, and I could build from there.

Too bad puberty did not wait for my preferred timeline.

I avoided the “what to do” part

I have friends who are wonderfully matter-of-fact about periods. Some have no qualms showing their daughters their period pads, even when their girls are still in preschool.

Their daughters saw what they needed to see, and learnt from a young age that periods are part and parcel of growing up and being a woman.

I admire that. And I wish I could be one of those cool mums.

But I am also quite averse to blood of all sorts, including my own. So while I could talk about periods in theory, I never imagined showing my daughter my own period pad. I did not show her how a pad looks, how it sticks to underwear, or how she should wear one.

Then her period came before I was ready

I won’t forget the day my daughter got her first period. Thankfully, she was at home when it happened.

I was in the office at the time, unable to be there physically for her. Thank goodness she was under my mother-in-law’s care, and somehow got through the first-period initiation promptly and calmly. I think.

Still, the guilt stayed with me.

Yes, she was supported. She was safe. She had someone with her.

But I kept thinking about what I had not done before that moment. I had assumed I had time. I had explained what periods were, yet I had not prepared her for what she should actually do when one arrived.

As working mums, we know this feeling too well. A milestone happens while you are somewhere else. Everyone copes. The child is fine. The parent who missed it is less fine.

We talk about periods very differently now

I still have not shown my daughter my blood-stained pad. I don’t aspire to do that anymore.

What has changed is how openly we (mostly I) talk about periods now.

We talk about how to avoid staining her underwear in different scenarios. What kind of pads to use on heavy-flow, medium-flow and light-flow days. How to prevent stains at bedtime. What kind of underwear to wear. When a panty liner is enough. How often to change a pad. How to dispose of pads properly. What to do if a stain happens anyway. How to wash off stains.

I am still on a mission to convince her to wear black undies for her own good.

These conversations are no longer saved for one serious “puberty talk”. They have become part of our day-to-day exchanges, as normal as reminding her to pack her water bottle or bring her bus card.

I have also packed period kits for her – and she’s in charge of restocking them. Inside are pads of different sizes, panty liners, wet wipes and disposable underwear. I tell her that leaks and stains will still happen even if you are careful. That’s life, right? But now she knows she can handle it, come what may.

All that is what I missed earlier.

Period prep is not just about telling our daughters that blood may come one day. It is about giving them enough information, tools and confidence so their first period does not feel like an emergency. Heck, it may even feel more like a proud rite of passage.

Just don’t expect me to throw period parties.

I’m not the only mum who had to learn this earlier than expected

In this episode of Too Tired Mums, I spoke with Sharon Tan, head of marketing at Eu Yan Sang and mum of two, and Physician Leung, associate senior physician at EYS TCM Clinic and also a mum of two, about navigating puberty and periods with our daughters.

Between the three of us, one thing became very clear: many of us need to start these conversations earlier than we think.

Sharon’s daughter is 11 and in Primary 5. Physician Leung had to navigate this even earlier — her daughter got her period at nine. Mine got hers at 10.

In other words, waiting until we feel ready may already be too late.

Puberty may come earlier than we expect

My daughter getting her period at 10 felt early to me. But she is far from the only girl entering puberty earlier than her parents expected.

According to NUHS+, early puberty cases seen at National University Hospital’s paediatric endocrine clinics rose from 35 in 2014 to 143 in 2024. Doctors at NUH also noted that these figures reflect one hospital’s caseload rather than national data, although they say the pattern is consistent with global observations. In girls, getting a first period before age 10 is regarded as early.

That makes it harder to rely on the old “we’ll talk about it when she’s older” approach.

School sexuality education is important, of course. But I now realise it should support what we talk about at home, not determine when we begin.

Beyond pads, there is also period wellness

Growing up, I often heard advice from older women about periods.

Don’t take cold drinks. Don’t eat cooling foods. Keep your tummy warm.

I used to think these were just old wives’ tales passed down the generations. Turns out, there is some basis to them from a TCM perspective.

In the episode, Physician Leung explains that in TCM, cold is believed to slow qi and blood flow, which may contribute to cramps, clots or heavier bleeding.

For now, my daughter has not reported PMS or period-related symptoms like menstrual cramps or blood clots. So our version of period wellness is quite simple: avoid cold drinks (if I don’t see it, then it doesn’t count), go easy on cooling foods, keep warm, and pay attention to what feels normal for her body.

If and when she starts experiencing period discomfort, I would be open to exploring suitable wellness support, when appropriate and with proper guidance.

That was also where our conversation turned to Eu Yan Sang’s Bak Foong supplement.

I had heard so much about Bak Foong and how it supports women’s menstrual health, but I never fully understood how it worked. In the episode, Physician Leung explains the role of the different herbs in Bak Foong, such as dang gui, which nourishes blood and regulates menstruation; yi mu cao, which supports blood flow in the uterus; and bai shao, which calms the liver and helps relieve cramps.

Together, these herbs are used in TCM to support menstrual wellness, regulate the cycle and ease menstrual discomfort.

Good to know: there is no need to spend hours brewing such concoctions. Bak Foong comes in ready-to-consume formats, including capsules and ready-to-drink essence.

The period prep booklet I wish I had earlier

Looking back, I think what I really needed before my daughter’s first period was a proper conversation starter.

Something gentle yet practical, without making puberty feel like a scary or cringey lecture.

This is where Eu Yan Sang’s period prep booklet comes in handy.

Presented in a bite-sized, conversational way, it covers the basics and specifics of periods: why and how they happen, what to expect, and tips to cope with period symptoms. It is illustrated in an age-appropriate format, with cute “menstrual monsters” to boot.

It might not have made my period conversations perfect, but it would have made it harder for me to postpone them.

I wish I had that before my daughter turned 10. Still, it is not too late to set things right.

(True story: I left the booklet on my dining table, hoping my daughter would pick it up and read it. And she did.)

Start before you think you need to

To mums with daughters who have not had their periods yet: start the conversation now.

You do not need to cover everything in one sitting. It does not have to be intense. It just takes small, intentional steps.

Show them what a pad looks like. Teach them how to wear one. Pack a small period kit. Talk about stains. Tell them who they can go to if you are not there. Let them know that blood can feel shocking the first time, but it is nothing to be ashamed of.

At the end of the day, period prep is really about helping our daughters feel steady in their own bodies, especially when those bodies start changing before we are ready.

Because puberty may arrive earlier than we expect.

And when it does, I hope your daughters feel less shocked, less alone, and more prepared than mine did.

Watch the Too Tired Mums episode here.

In partnership with Eu Yan Sang

Too Tired Mums is The Singapore Women’s Weekly’s original talk show series that gives motherhood its most honest voice — where real mums open up about the things we don’t always say out loud, reminding us that we’re never truly alone.

Host: Estelle Low
Guests: Sharon Tan & Physician Leung Bing Mui
Producer: Maya Eman
Art director: Michelle Lee
Videography, studio setup and editing: Studio+65
Makeup: Dorcas Yam
Hairstyling: Pattama Phumriew
Fashion styling: Rin Low, assisted by Crystal Lim
Outfits: On Estelle & Sharon, Rawbought. On Physician Leung, Silk Stories.