Rebecca Lim Reveals The Nasty Shock She Got After Giving Birth

Rebecca Lim never thought she would be a mother. In fact, the Mediacorp actress, now 38, was perfectly happy being the “fun-ty” in the family.

“I never had the urge to be a mum. I never had the desire to be a mother. I was very content to be the fun-ty (the fun auntie) in the family,” Rebecca admitted candidly on Love, Bonito founder Rachel Lim’s Who We Are podcast, released on Aug 12. 

“You know, just play with the kid and when they cry, urgh bye. I’d give them the lollipop, ice cream… Things their parents would never allow them to eat. I love that role,” the star laughed.

In the hour-long episode available on YouTube and Spotify, Rebecca opened up about the realities of mum guilt, whether motherhood had ever been part of her plans, and the loss of her father. 

Finding peace from her husband Matthew Webster

For a long time, being a mum wasn’t on Rebecca’s radar. 

That changed when she met her husband, Matthew Webster (also 38), at a gathering hosted by her BFF and makeup artist Shaun Lee. The corporate brand management executive — now Assistant Vice President at a local firm — proposed less than a year after they met. 

The couple tied the knot with a glamorous wedding held at The Ritz-Carlton in 2022.

“He brought me peace and security that I’ve never had,” Rebecca shared. For the first time, she felt motherhood was possible: “Maybe I can have a family with this man”.

In past relationships, she never wanted children because she felt that the guy she was dating was “still a kid” himself. 

Grief and new beginnings

Rebecca’s pregnancy came after one of the hardest moments in her life. In the midst of filming, she received the news that her father had passed away.

Even now, she gets emotional recalling it — in between tears, she said that she believes her father would be proudest, not of her career milestones, but of the mother she is becoming.

“[He would be most proud of me] being a mother. For sure,” Rebecca said. “I’m sure he would be very happy that my acting career kinda happened, but I believe he would be most proud that I’m trying to be the best mother that I can be.” 

She found out she and her sister were pregnant at the same time shortly after his funeral, making her son’s arrival feel even more like a gift from her father.

Learning to slow down

Pregnancy, Rebecca admitted, was a joy. “I could finally eat anything I wanted to,” she smiles.

But it also came with a big shift in priorities. For the first time in her career, she turned down work. Her doctor had advised her to rest because of her age, and she listened.

“I had to say no. That was the first time I said no,” she confessed. “Through my almost 20 years [in the industry], I’ve never said no to anything before.” In fact, she has never taken a sick leave more than five times in her entire career. 

Childbirth was “the nasty part” she wasn’t prepared for

In January 2024, the couple’s lives changed forever when they welcomed their first child, a baby boy, after enduring 14 intense hours of labour. He was delivered via natural birth.

While social media had painted a glamorous picture of new motherhood, Rebecca found reality very different. She described childbirth as “the nasty part” that she wasn’t prepared for.

Becks admitted that the recovery was “so painful” because she has always been very independent, and prefers to rely on herself to do things.

“During the recovery, I couldn’t even walk to the toilet properly and the next day in the hospital, the nurse had to shower me. Oh my gosh, I wouldn’t have imagined that... and I’m like, ‘Oh dear, what did I get myself into?’”

“What is wrong with me?”

Despite everyone telling Rebecca that she would be up and walking the next day, she just couldn’t do it.

“So I was like, what is wrong with me?” Becks questioned. “If everyone could get off the bed on day two, and the recovery was supposed to be much faster than a C-section, why can’t I do it?” 

She started to have a ton of negative thoughts and constantly asked herself: “Why am I lagging behind? What am I not doing right? What happened?”

Besides the mental stress, she was also physically suffering as well.

“You’re feeling so terrible all the time. You are perspiring... You’re panting all the time... Just getting out of the shower, when you can finally shower after the confinement... But you’re perspiring again... I smelled like milk and saliva, and I didn’t feel sexy at all. I felt horrible.” 

She also didn’t want anyone to touch her, nor pay her any visit. She was in that state for “a couple of months” and would only welcome very, very close friends. She didn’t even entertain her family when they came over.

“I’m sorry I just need to sleep,” she told them.

Thankfully, things did improve from there. Her solution? Time.

“I took my time. I just needed time to get to a better space and a better mindset, and now, I’m in a relatively healthier mental space”.

Going back to work just two months after giving birth

Rebecca made her first public appearance just two months following the arrival of her baby, during the Star Awards 2024 (yes, in that neon green cape dress where she was rudely called a “big green apple”).

She did her first hosting gig four months after giving birth, for the second session of With Love, Becks.

“The hosting gig was tough because you are constantly face to face with all your female colleagues who look absolutely wonderfully gorgeous.”

And in between breaks, Rebecca had to rush to pump and she’d return smelling like milk.

“It was a bad experience for me,” she says. In hindsight, she realises that she felt “silly” for being so pressured. 

Managing mum guilt after returning to work

Rebecca also opened up about the wave of mum guilt she experienced when working on her upcoming English long-form drama Aunty Lee’s Deadly Delights. Filming went on for nine months, and Becks found herself crying and struggling with inadequacy in the initial weeks.

She recalled that when production began, her son was only seven months old. “In the first two weeks of filming, I would be crying every day during lunch because I would be pumping [milk] in the room by myself and having lunch by myself.”

It wasn’t the solitude that made her emotional, but the feeling that she wasn’t performing at her best as a mother and an actress. Memorising lines felt harder than before, and her focus at work was constantly split. At the same time, she battled the ache of being away from her baby.

“I didn’t feel 100 per cent at work,” she admitted. “And the brain fog. I could not memorise my lines as well as I did. I don’t feel 100 per cent as a mother, because I’m leaving my son at home.” It was a horrible mix of guilt and inadequacy for her. 

Learning how to be present in the moment

It took her a few months to find her footing again. During that time, she made a deliberate choice to be fully present wherever she was — giving her undivided attention to the moment instead of feeling split between two worlds.

When she’s on set now, she focuses completely on the work in front of her, leaving home worries aside. And when she’s with her son, the phone stays away so she can give him all of her.

“It has helped me so much because being at work and being 100 per cent there, I’m recharging and refueling myself, so that when I go home, I can be 100 per cent with my son... that has helped me find my new equilibrium in my life as a mum,” Rebecca said.

In fact, she’s even up for baby number two.