Stopping Breastfeeding Is Painful – I Went Cold Turkey At 4 Months

Motherhood brings unique joys and pains to every mum, and we are better off acknowledging that. In this series called Mum Truths, mums reveal their secret successes, miseries and gripes about parenting in a no-holds-barred first-person recount.

I write this for all first-time mothers who think the worst of breastfeeding is over. You’ve made it past six weeks. Your breast milk supply has regulated, baby latches like a pro and your nipples no longer sting. Congratulations!

Now, let’s plan your breastfeeding exit strategy, because girl, as with most things in motherhood, it’s probably going to hurt.

The pill

Not that pill, but the pill that suppresses the hormone prolactin that’s responsible for breast milk production. Dostinex was what I was prescribed the first time I tried to stop breastfeeding my firstborn Lily. I was a month and a half postpartum, struggling with mastitis, oversupply and the cherry to top it off: a breast cancer scare. I was advised to stop breastfeeding and get a proper scan done.

Dostinex is a tiny pill, usually prescribed for mothers who miscarried in their later trimesters or have stillborns. The effectiveness of the pill goes down the longer you’ve been breastfeeding. As I had been breastfeeding for four months after the birth of my second child, my doctor recommended against taking the pill and stopping naturally. 

The problem with “stopping naturally”

Women stop breastfeeding for multiple reasons. All of them are good reasons. My personal reason for wanting to stop was, I was tired. I had a great supply, the baby was latching well when needed. I only pumped four or five times a day; each pump session took 15 minutes or less and I’d yield 150ml. All amazing stats by breastfeeding standards. However, I was just over it. No medical reason. It’s not that I was unsupported. My job wasn’t making pumping difficult. I just simply didn’t want to “cow” any longer.

The lactation consultant was shooketh. She couldn’t comprehend why, if every external factor was in my favour would I want to just give up the gift of breastfeeding. “You’re so blessed! So much milk with such little pumping, such a supportive partner and boss as well. Would you want to take some time to consider things again? It’s a shame if you stopped breastfeeding.”

No ma’am, no shame here.

The process

For four months, I was pumping at 7am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm.

I dropped the 2pm pump, got terribly engorged and uncomfortable by 4pm, and would pump then. I carried on this cycle of 7am, 4pm, 10pm for about a week. 

After which, I cut my afternoon pump to simply five minutes per side. Again, I did this for a week. According to Google and lactation consultants, this is the recommended way to stop breastfeeding. Reduce pump time, and slowly drop pumps. But this could go on for months! I wanted to just stop already! The next day, I made the decision to go cold turkey.

The pain

Here’s what to expect when going cold turkey. It hurts! Engorgement is unavoidable, and the pain is indescribable and intolerable. However, I stand by this method, especially if like me, you lack discipline to pump “just enough to be comfortable”. I’d always just end up pumping fully and be caught back in the cycle.

What worked for me

Ibuprofen over Synflex. I was prescribed Synflex by a GP for the pain, but after a consultation with the lactation specialist, I switched to Ibuprofen which helped a lot better with the inflammation.

Ice cubes over ice packs. I found ice cubes to be more malleable and easier to navigate than hard and even gel ice packs. In the early stages when I was super engorged and icing every hour, the ice packs just never got cold enough or lasted long enough. 

Allowing myself to leak rather than hand expressing. I was spontaneously leaking for the first three days of going cold turkey. It was just enough to bring about short-lived relief. I found that hand expressing stimulated my breasts even more. 

Final thoughts

It took about two weeks for my breasts to completely go back to normal. The first three days were the most excruciating. That said, I feel great about my decision to stop! I’m happier, well rested and can enjoy a guilt-free negroni without having to do the breastfeeding math!

Jill Lim is the perpetually exhausted mother of two girls and an adopted dog. Dark humour and cynicism are her love language. Like and subscribe at @killjilllll.