8 Tips For Surviving Your Annoying Relatives During Festive Gatherings

Picture this – you've spent days preparing for your festive party, putting up the decorations, going through rounds of changes with the caterers, getting the house to sparkle and making sure that everyone in your family is on their best behaviour, ready to meet guests. Then your aunt, whom you only see twice a year, makes a snide comment that ruins your day. 

Or perhaps you're visiting your parents, who seem to have invited half your clan, and your uncle is bragging non-stop about his successful business or your nephew is behaving like a brat and there's nothing you can do to get them to stop. You could even have guests staying over during the festive period who aren't exactly pleasant but — because they're family — you have to grin and bear it. 

If any of this sounds familiar, you've dealt with annoying relatives. And, let's face it, we all have them. Whether it's a nosy cousin, an overbearing sister-in-law or a grandaunt who keeps going on about how “things were so much better in my day”, these relatives can make or break a family function. Sure, we love them – mostly – but this doesn't mean they're always lovely and we have to tolerate them. 

Unfortunately, it's hard to avoid them during festive seasons, as you go through your familial duties of catching up with your loved ones. You might not have invited them but you might bump into them at someone else's gathering. 

Here's our survival guide on how to deal with annoying relatives during the festive season.

1. Be mentally prepared

These are your family members, so you have dealt with them in the past. You know which uncle burps at the dinner table and which cousin gets embarrassingly drunk. So make mental notes on how you are going to deal with them. For example, when chatting with your braggy brother-in-law, think of how you can deflect the conversation to something more pleasant. And remember which relatives hold strong views about certain topics so you don't bring them up in conversation.

Also, focus on the positive side of your relatives. Remember how caring your cousin is before she gets inappropriately drunk or how your uncle always tells you what a good cook you are despite burping loudly at every meal. When you remember their good side, their bad habits might not annoy you as much. 

2. Set an alarm

Okay, we don't mean this literally, but you should give yourself a certain amount of time to be at family gatherings if you find them difficult. This means you can stay for a polite hour to make your rounds and say hello to everyone. Or, if it's a meal at a restaurant that will last for hours, tell your hosts beforehand that you're only able to stay for one or two courses. This will get you mentally prepared to deal with them for only a specific time frame – just don't make it obvious by staring at the exit!

3. Keep everyone busy

This can be done if you've organised a party or have relatives staying over that you're getting annoyed with. Suggest playing board games or watching a movie (perhaps one you watched together as kids). You could even go for walks as being in a different environment than being stuck in the house together might give you different things to talk about. 

4. Have some time out 

It can be exhausting to be sociable, so take time outs when you can. Take a deep breath or meditate if you need to. You could even step outside or lock yourself in the bathroom to watch cute panda videos for a few minutes whenever you feel it's getting too overwhelming. 

Remove yourself from uncomfortable conversations without feeling guilty – say you have to powder your nose or chat with someone else about an important issue. Also, do not repeat annoying conversations in your head after they're over as this will only make you unnecessarily riled up all over again. 

5. Just say no

If you don't want your cousin to bring their spoilt kids to the festive catch-up, tell them. The same goes if you don't want to attend your aunt's family get-together. You can also say no to all the kids gobbling up treat after treat or that alcohol-loving uncle who always picks your most expensive whiskey. It's also okay to tell someone to stop if they're being rude or inappropriate. Be firm with any rules you might have – especially when hosting – and remember that you don't have to attend every family function if you don't want to. 

6. Have a sense of humour

Sometimes, it's best to just laugh things off, rather than stress about them. So your sister-in-law thinks your child should be doing better at school or your aunt keeps telling you to find a life partner “before it's too late”. Sometimes, your family means well, even if they don't always say it in nice ways. Of course, there are certainly relatives that are – knowingly or unknowingly – nosy and annoying but remember that you can't change them so it's best to not let what they say or do get to you. And don't take any comments personally when you know they probably behave this way with everyone. 

7. Choose your battles 

Your 70-year-old uncle is not going to stop slurping his soup anytime soon and neither is your mother-in-law going to lay off the snide comments about your cooking. What you can change is how you react to various unpleasant scenarios. So adjust your attitude and don't react to every negative thing that happens during the festive period. 

8. Be grateful

With all that's going on in the world, be thankful that you have relatives to spend time with. They might not be perfect but they are family and you have an amazing opportunity to get together with them. Write down perhaps three things you're grateful for each day during the festive season – you could do it just before a gathering as a much-needed reminder.