87% Of Mums Chose Household Help Over Great Sex At SWW PAUSE
Over high tea at Surrey Hills Grocer – ION Orchard, 23 SWW Village mums came together for laughter, honest conversations and some surprisingly revealing Would You Rather poll results
By Estelle Low -
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Would you rather your husband be amazing in bed, or run the household without being asked?
If you chose the latter, you’ll probably vibe with our SWW Village mums.
At our latest SWW PAUSE session, 87 per cent of mums who took part in our Would You Rather – Mum Edition poll said they would rather their husband be capable of running the household independently — no questions asked — than be amazing in bed.
The implication? For many mums in the room, help that arrives without having to ask feels more desirable than romance itself.
Though one mum cheekily clarified that she only voted with the majority because… “My husband is already amazing in bed.”
The room burst into laughter, of course.
That was the spirit of our latest SWW PAUSE (Please Allow Us A Short Escape) session: lighthearted on the surface, but full of small, honest moments that revealed what mums are really thinking about.
Held at Surrey Hills Grocer – ION Orchard, tucked away in the mall’s Level 5 carpark, the session brought together 23 SWW Village members for a Friday afternoon of high tea, conversation and connection. The greenhouse-themed cafe felt like a hidden escape in the middle of town. First-time visitors may take some effort to find it, but that cosy pocket of calm was worth the trek once everyone settled in.
Perhaps that journey to Surrey Hills Grocer made it even more fitting. Because for mums, a pause hardly happens by accident. More often than not, we have to plan for it, make arrangements, leave something undone, and remind ourselves that we are allowed to take up space too.
We began the afternoon with a simple icebreaker. In two groups, mums introduced themselves to one another with just three details: their name, their children’s ages, and what time they slept the night before.
In 30 seconds, every mum was forced to take stock of her bedtime and quality of sleep. Her own — not her kids’, not her spouse’s. They also found comfort in one very relatable fact: almost no mum seems to sleep before 11pm.
As Surrey Hills’ new whimsical high tea set, Garden Bites & Orchard Sweets, was served, conversations continued around the tables.
It felt almost surreal to be served beautiful food and tea or coffee we could actually sit down to enjoy. Not to mention, two hours where we could leave everything behind — duties, worries, labels, expectations — and simply focus on being ourselves.
Then came the main activity of the afternoon: Would You Rather – Mum Edition.
Mums voted anonymously on a series of deliberately difficult choices, and we watched the results appear instantly on screen. There were no right or wrong answers. Just chuckles, gasps, groans, and the occasional “wait, why did I choose that?”
Some questions were playful. Others were deeper.
When asked if they would rather their child grow up exactly like them or exactly like their husband, 70 per cent of mums chose themselves.
Not because they thought they were perfect, but because many were very aware of their own strengths, flaws and emotional patterns. Some felt that if their child turned out like them, they would be in a better position to understand, guide and support them.
Another result that warmed the room: 91 per cent of mums said they would rather their child be kind and average than smart and ruthless. Aww.
It sounded heartening, and it was. But it also made us pause. In theory, many of us want to raise kind children more than high-achieving ones. But in real life, when school pressure, comparison and future worries come into the picture, would we still find it so easy to choose kindness over performance?
That tension came up again when mums were asked if they would rather be known as a good mum or a high-flying career woman. An overwhelming 82 per cent chose “good mum”.
It was one of the more reflective results of the afternoon. For many of us, the question is tied to identity and self-worth. It also raises a bigger question: why do women still feel, even now, that we have to choose?
Then came a question we needed to extend more time for: would you rather your child be bullied, or be a bully?
Seventy per cent said they would rather find out their child had bullied someone else. To be clear, no one was excusing bullying. But several mums felt that the emotional scars of being bullied could be especially painful and difficult for a child to recover from.
It was an uncomfortable question — one that forced us to confront what we fear most for our children, and what we believe we might still be able to repair.
We also asked mums whether they would rather their child overshare online or hide everything from them. That question struck a very modern parenting nerve.
For mums, this question was about coming to terms with the realities of parenting today. Our Gen Alpha kids are growing up in a world where online identity, privacy and digital footprints are part of their childhood in a way we’ve never experienced.
Through all the laughter and lively reactions, what stood out most was how everyone could laugh at the absurdity of the choices, disagree without judgement, explain their instincts, and realise that many of the things they think about are shared by other mums in the room.
To close the session, we asked everyone to describe their current mood through a word cloud. Words like “relaxed”, “happy” and “full” came up — capturing what we hoped SWW PAUSE could offer: a little breathing room to help mums feel like themselves again.
Before we ended, mums were also invited to complete an anonymous permission slip: This week, I’m giving myself permission to...
Rest
Stop performing
Choose myself
Let go
Some gave themselves permission to rest. Some to stop feeling guilty. Some to lower their expectations. Some to celebrate themselves. Some to make space for themselves, even in small ways.
And perhaps that was the most meaningful takeaway of the afternoon.
At the heart of it, SWW PAUSE is about making motherhood feel less lonely, through creating thoughtful spaces where mums can exhale, laugh, reflect and remember that they are not the only ones navigating this messy, deeply human journey.
To the mums who showed up, shared, laughed, voted, reflected and gave themselves permission to pause — thank you for being part of this growing village.
If you are a mum looking for honest conversations, meaningful events and a community that gets it, join SWW Village and look out for our next SWW PAUSE session.
*Special thanks to Surrey Hills Grocer – ION Orchard for hosting us and serving us delightful high tea, and to Sony for loaning us their BRAVIA 7 II 4K HDR Smart TV.
