6 Ways To Teach Your Children To Be Independent
Independence is the greatest skill a child can learn, and it's important they learn it early
By Terri Kue -
As parents, it always hits hard to see your kids growing up, or spreading their wings and leaving the nest, as the saying goes. It's a bittersweet feeling to realise that your young ones no longer need you as much as they did before, whether it's choosing their own clothes or how they spend their time. But in order for your young ones to be able to take the next step in their journey, they must first learn how to be independent.
Of course, teaching them how to be independent starts from a young age. With little steps, you can ensure your kid is ready to face the world on their own one day. Here are some examples of what we can do to help our kids on the way.
When they are infants, it goes without saying that you as a parent have to make decisions for them. This includes what books they read, what they eat, etc. But as they grow, you can slowly allow them to make their own choices.
To start off, you can ask them for their opinions when you are trying to make a small decision for them. Teach them to weigh the pros and cons of each option before they choose one. This helps train them to think for themselves and equips them with decision-making skills that they will need throughout their lives.
There's also another benefit to ensuring your kids have the ability to decide: this study shows that being able to make decisions significantly impacts a child's self-esteem.
Some things you can ask your kids' decision on: the colour they want to paint their room, what they want to eat, and what clothes they are comfortable wearing. You can limit it to a few options so they don't get overwhelmed. By practising this on a regular basis, you're equipping them with the confidence to make choices on their own later.
It's never too early to start teaching your little ones to be money-smart. While they will quickly understand the concept of money, it's hard for them to actually grasp the essence of it until they enter primary school.
To help them make sense of how to spend their money wisely, create a little sheet where you break down how much a meal costs in primary school, how much drinks cost, etc. Educate them on how to buy only what they need and why they should put the leftover money aside and save up. You can even take it one step further by setting a financial goal of reaching say, $10 in savings, which they can then exchange for a reward.
All this will help them to recognise the value of money, which will help them to make smart financial choices moving forward.
Netflix's Old Enough! made headlines as the episodes feature adorable kids as young as two years old running errands. While we definitely do not recommend allowing your toddlers to go out by themselves at such a young age, primary school is definitely an excellent time to start.
First, prepare them by teaching them how to use public transport, how many stops are needed, what to do if they get lost, and more. This will also help you in the long run because you won't have to ferry your kids to and fro every day.
However, there is no set rule for when young ones should be allowed to take public transport on their own. Trust your gut feeling and make sure your kid is confident before letting them go to school by themselves.
If you have slightly older kids, why not let them plan a fun day for the family? Give them the experience of arranging a fun day at Gardens by the Bay or a trip down to Sentosa. Let your young teens have some control over what you do during the day. Whether they are deciding where to eat or in what order they want to see the attractions as USS, let them give it a go.
Of course, you can give your own opinions from time to time. Let them know if they have underestimated how long an activity would take or vice versa.
This will all benefit your children and teach them the concept of time and how to plan their outings with their friends in the future.
Being independent includes taking responsibility for their own actions instead of relying on you to cover up for them. When kids do wrong, they may see lying as an easy way out; they won't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
Yet, it's important that they know that only they, themselves, are responsible for what they do. When they grow up and you are no longer with them, they will have no one to cover for their mistakes anymore.
Even adults can have trouble setting boundaries with people. However, healthy boundaries help them to understand their self-worth, what they like and dislike, and what to do or say when someone has crossed a line. It's important that we teach our kids that it's possible to be firm and polite at the same time — and that they don't have to say yes all the time.
Peer pressure is a powerful tool that many children give in to without realising how it can compromise their boundaries. Ensuring your little ones know how they should be treated can help them avoid staying in an uncomfortable situation.
A version of this story first appeared in Young Parents.