She Left Mum Facebook Groups After Her First Child — And Never Went Back

Too Tired Mums is The Singapore Women’s Weekly’s original talk show series that gives motherhood its most honest voice — where real mums open up about the guilt, burnout, invisible load, and quiet joys of parenting, reminding us that we’re never truly alone.

There’s something almost instinctive about joining a mum Facebook group when you’re expecting your first child.

You’re stepping into completely unfamiliar territory, and suddenly, these groups feel like a lifeline: a place where you can ask questions, get reassurance, and feel a little less alone.

Jassmin did exactly that when she became a first-time mum, in 2014.

But when we spoke on Too Tired Mums, she shared that she made a very intentional decision to stay away from parenting Facebook groups after having her second child in 2020.

After her experience the first time round, Jassmin realised that parenting Facebook groups weren’t the kind of support she needed.

What starts as a simple question or shared experience can quickly snowball — replies pouring in, opinions stacking up, and before you know it, you’re trying to process advice from dozens (sometimes hundreds) of strangers.

And often, embedded in those comments is a layer of judgment wrapped in disclaimers like “in my honest opinion” or “just saying”.

As a new mum trying to figure things out, it became overwhelming very quickly.

Choosing peace the second time round

So when Jassmin had her second child, she decided to opt out of parenting Facebook groups completely.

No more opening herself up to a flood of opinions. 

Not because she had everything figured out, but because she knew what didn’t work for her.

“I lost so much more than I gained,” she shared candidly.

Instead of turning to large public forums, Jassmin leaned into smaller circles of people she knew and trusted. Even then, she found herself navigating well-meaning but frustrating platitudes like “this will pass” and “the fog will lift”.

Watch the Too Tired Mums episode here.

Rethinking what support really means

There’s an unspoken pressure in motherhood to do what everyone else is doing: to join, read, stay plugged in.

But Jassmin’s experience is a reminder that we’re allowed to change course.

Sometimes, the most empowering decision isn’t to seek out more — but to step back.

To choose less noise. Less comparison. Less second-guessing.

Not every mum needs the same village.

And sometimes, the best thing we can do is to build one that truly works for us.

Psst, here’s a village that might work for you — the SWW Village by The Singapore Women’s Weekly. It’s a supportive community for mums in Singapore to connect, share, and grow together. Sign up here.