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How do you be a friend (or a colleague) to someone who's pregnant?
Let's be real. The process of becoming a mother – from conceiving and pregnancy to birth and beyond – is a very sacred one. It's something so unique to each individual that even fellow mums may struggle to understand and empathise with.
So, how does motherhood affect friendships, when the pregnant one inevitably shifts her focus from her BFF to the baby she's growing? Is it possible for parents to maintain strong friendships with non-parents?
Two Tired Mums Episode 5 – How Does Motherhood Impact Friendships?
In episode 5 of Two Tired Mums, The Singapore Women's Weekly's editor-in-chief Estelle Low and SPH Media's senior producer-presenter Jill Lim invite a special guest — Kiss92's Joshua Simon, Jill’s best friend who started out with her on radio!
Together, they spoke their truth on their evolving friendship throughout Jill’s pregnancy and motherhood journey. From awkward first impressions and fiery personalities to the wild ride of pregnancy and unsolicited comments, no topic is off limits. Josh shares his eye-opening journey from a clueless bestie to a motherhood ally, while Jill opens up about juggling motherhood, her job, and her friendship with Josh.
Plus, hear about the backlash Jill got for sharing about her children on air, and Estelle’s struggles to open up about pregnancy issues with colleagues who weren't parents or in the parenting headspace.
Timestamps:
2:01 - 5:17: Early Friendship Between Jill & Josh
Jill initially thought Josh was an intern and wasn’t fond of him until they worked together on a radio show. Their work dynamic sparked a friendship that lasted through Jill’s marriage and pregnancy till this day.
5:18 - 7:23: How Jill’s Pregnancy Changed Their Friendship Dynamic
Josh recognised Jill’s shifting priorities and, although he didn’t understand her pregnancy issues, he empathised with her struggles and was ready to support her through the changes in her life.
7:24 - 8:26: Witnessing Pregnancy Changed Josh’s Perspective On Mums
Seeing Jill and others go through pregnancy made Josh regret not appreciating his own mum more. He reflected on how much tougher the motherhood journey must have been in the past, when struggles (eg. in healthcare, returning to work after having kids) were less talked about.
8:27 - 10:17: Josh’s Involvement In Jill’s Mum Life
Jill recounted how she relied on Josh to help with baby formula shopping — he *almost* cleared the shelves! He was also the first person she told about her pregnancy (both times), as well as a miscarriage in between.
10:18 - 12:17: Jill’s Rollercoaster Pregnancies & The Impact On Their Work Relationship
Having witnessed Jill's ups and downs throughout her pregnancies, Josh shared that he was in awe of how she continued to show up for work, and her social life.
12:18 - 13:49: Jill’s Experience With Hate Comments On Discussing Motherhood
Jill was shocked to receive criticism for talking about her child on radio. Josh suggested it might be because society at large sees motherhood as something to be discussed behind closed doors, until the child starts school.
13:50 - 14:39: How Jill Changed After Having Kids
Josh observed how Jill’s fiery personality has mellowed over the years, as she stepped into the nurturing role of a mother.
14:40 - 16:02: Maintaining Their Friendship Despite Busy Lives
Even though Jill finds it hard to meet up regularly with Josh now that she has kids, their strong foundation keeps their friendship going. Their friendship and professional lives remain symbiotic.
16:03 - 16:54: Estelle’s Difficulties Getting Understanding From Former Colleagues During Pregnancy
Estelle shared how she found it tough to get support and understanding from former colleagues during her pregnancy, especially since they weren't mothers or in the headspace for motherhood.
16:55 - 19:16: Josh’s Takeaways After Witnessing Jill's Pregnancies
Through Jill, Josh learnt how every pregnancy is different. Whether it's doctor visits, prepping the house for a child, financial planning, maternity leave planning, setting up a support system, or getting understanding from colleagues, he notes how every factor plays a role in shaping a woman's motherhood journey and outlook.
Hosts: Estelle Low and Jill LimProducer: Maya EmanArt direction: Michelle LeeVideography, studio setup and digital backdrop: Joel Chng, Marc De Souza and Zeke TanStyling: Angela ChuMakeup: Dorcas YamHairstyling: Pattama PhumriewOutfits: Onitsuka Tiger
Produced by: The Singapore Women's WeeklyPost-production: Studio+65
Two Tired Mums is a talk show hosted by The Weekly’s editor-in-chief Estelle Low and SPH Media’s senior producer-presenter Jill Lim. Diving into touchy topics, the millennial mums unpack the reality and hard truths of motherhood and parenting in Singapore today. Expect hilarious and “me too!” moments in their intimate and unscripted conversations over a cuppa – the kind of catch-ups mums need to have more of.
