How Women Could Be Taking On More Emotional Labour At Work
Ever had to play mediator because "women are better at this"? You could be taking on additional emotional labour
Picture this â youâre in a meeting with a client and they start shouting at you about a âmistakeâ in your work, when itâs actually because they gave you the wrong information to work with. But you grin and bear it because itâs not expected of you to argue with a client.
Or perhaps youâre having a conversation with your boss and he starts complaining about his wife â how are you meant to react here? So you just nod and smile and make agreeable noises at acceptable intervals.Â
Have you ever had a male colleague complain about another colleague and asked you to âhandle the situationâ so you have to try and be a mediator? And if you are in a public-facing role, dealing with customers means having to keep your cool and provide exceptional service even when theyâre being rude.
These are just a few examples of what is known as âemotional labourâ in the workplace. Grace Loh, psychotherapist, counsellor and coach at Counselling Perspective, tell us that this term can be defined as the effort, planning and control required to express the most needed emotions during interpersonal communications.
âIn the context of the workplace, emotional labour is the expectation that an employee should manipulate oneâs actual emotions or the appearance of emotions to satisfy the perceived requirements of the role. This encompasses feigning, repressing, amplifying or modifying oneâs emotions,â she elaborates.
The term âemotional labourâ was coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in 1983 and this maintenance of emotional composure or modulation of emotions differs from what one really feels inside.Â
âEmotions are either expected to be evoked or suppressed,â Grace explains. âDespite emotional labour being an obligatory requirement for numerous professions, women are inordinately burdened to bear emotional labour in the workplace with the expectations to willingly undertake menial tasks, be pleasing and obliging and be responsible for maintaining harmony in the workplace.â
She lists some examples of how women are expected to perform emotional labour in the workplace:
Not be overly opinionated, domineering or forceful
Suppress any negative emotions and perpetually be pleasant, polite and positive whilst at work and facing clients
Expected to be emotional caretakers and place the emotional well-being of others above their own
Implicitly expected to behave as emotional regulators and therapists, maintaining the peace during conflict and to be emotionally available, receptive and empathetic to bosses and/or colleagues who vent to them
Allocated undervalued and unpaid activities such as getting the coffee rounds, organising birthday cards and gifts, group events, note-taking at meetings and other administrative tasks or logistics not within their scope of work
Put up with derogatory or inappropriate comments and jokes made by bosses or clients
Julie, 37, remembers how her boss in a previous job often used her as the go-between when the big boss wanted to have a word with him. âHe didnât like dealing with her as she could be rather long-winded so he often sent me for meetings instead and I had to lie that he wasnât available,â says the branding manager.
âHe often commented that her conversations are so convoluted as if I would somehow be in a better position to understand her because Iâm a woman. But it was hard to say no to my boss so I went along with it.â
Unfortunately, women are more prone to having to deal with emotional labour than men. Grace says that itâs more expected of women because of the traditional gender division of labour whereby women have conventionally been designated the roles of caring and nurturance in the private sphere of the home, while men have been involved in rational production. And this division of labour between genders âhas contributed to profound gendered implications, compounded by the dominance of societal assumptions that emotions are the ânaturalâ domain of womenâ.
Also, gendered assumptions about the ânaturalâ capacities of women to deliver service influence how managerial authority directs emotional labour in the workplace.
âEmotional labour is perceived as a âwomanâs workâ, whereby nurturing and caring for others is viewed as befitting for women as if by law of nature based on their gender difference from men,â says Grace.
Another reason for women being more exposed to emotional labour is because itâs a gendered âcultural performanceâ that is conducted as repeated acts, which conform to what constitutes normal and expected of the female identity.
âIn relation to the act of service, we are used to the constructed deferential behaviours and scripts of what constitutes good service, and most often this is from a woman,â Grace explains. âThrough the constraints and direction of managerial mandate in the workplace, there still exists hegemonic gender regulation, despite contemporary times. And this influences how women are expected to behave when performing a service at work.â
Because we have to deal with it more, itâs not surprising to know that it takes its toll on us too. Grace says that emotional labour is âviewed as a taxing stressor and depletes womenâs personal resourcesâ.
âAcademic research has demonstrated that, in addition to the initial stressor that is responsible for the employee performing emotional labour, the taxing effect of emotional labour as a coping mechanism in response to the initial stressor, even as a positive display of emotion, can deplete employeesâ emotive and cognitive resources,â she explains.
The toil on women and the costs of emotional labour on organisations can be snowballing. For example, the effort taken to maintain oneâs professional game face can negatively impact productivity, as employees who perform emotional labour for prolonged time periods make more errors and take more time for task completion.
âThe discordance between how an employee truly feels â for example, feeling distressed â and the expectation to stay unflappable and accommodating with a smile requires exceptional psychological, mental and emotional resources,â Grace reveals. âIf exhausted over time, it can result in employee burnout and turnover, and poor mental and physical health outcomes.â
This could impact womenâs careers too. This is because women are held back from performing at their best as their internal resources are being utilised by emotional labour, instead of attending to the actual work that can enable them to flourish.
In any work situation, Grace advises women to learn to be aware of when emotional labour is positive and required and when it is not. Clear boundaries can be drawn to allow focus on true priorities.
âFor any situation, it is good to ask oneself if it is absolutely necessary to employ oneâs resources for emotional labour or if your mental energy is better placed elsewhere,â she says. âIt is also good to learn to be self-aware of when you require respite to recuperate and replenish mentally and emotionally. Make it a priority to connect with people or things that you truly enjoy.â
Text: Balvinder Sandhu/HerWorld