‘Too senior for some, too junior for others’: Mid-career mum’s struggle to find her job fit

The email always starts the same way: ‘Thank you for your time and interest.’ For Tay Zhi Yun, these polite rejections have become a familiar sting after months of near-misses in her job search.

The frustration isn’t just about being overlooked – it’s also about clearing final interviews, take-home tasks and presentations, only to be turned down at the end.

That’s what job seeker Tay Zhi Yun, a mother of two, has been struggling with for the past year.

Zhi Yun, who’s in her 30s, left her high-pressure e-commerce manager role in April 2024 to protect a new pregnancy. This was after a prior miscarriage. Living with polycystic ovary syndrome, she needed medication and injections to conceive – and this time, she didn’t want to take chances.

A month after giving birth, she began job hunting and secured a six-month paternity-cover role that didn’t convert to a permanent position. She was back on the market – and kept getting close to an offer, only to be turned down.

“It’s getting quite demoralising now,” shares Zhi Yun, who has spent a decade in digital and performance marketing, including managing a team of eight at a major e-commerce company.

“I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mum. I think I could be a better mum if I actually went out to work.”

This pattern of near-misses is more common than job seekers realise, according to a Workforce Singapore (WSG) career coach.

“We see this frequently with experienced professionals returning to work,” the coach explains. “The challenge isn’t capability – it’s positioning and timing.”

“Job search timelines are not a reflection of one’s abilities,” the coach says. “The right employer will recognise what you bring to the organisation. Focus on what you can control – such as the quality of your applications, improving your interview skills, expanding your network, how you position your experience and how you follow up.”

Dealing with the emotional toll of rejections

Like many job seekers, Zhi Yun has tried multiple approaches. She uses LinkedIn as her main platform, keeps an eye out when friends flag openings, and reaches out to former contacts for coffee chats in hopes that a referral might tip the odds in her favour.

But even warm leads have fizzled out – and each near-miss has made it harder to stay emotionally steady.

For cases like hers, the WSG career coach suggests treating rejection as a process to manage, not a personal verdict. The coach advises starting with a simple follow-up routine, such as sending a thank-you email within 24 hours of an interview.

“Should there be no response within the agreed timeline, they can follow up with a polite enquiry and, where appropriate, send one final email after another two weeks to check on the interview status professionally before moving on,” says the coach.

“Job seekers should not lose hope entirely in the follow-up process, since there have been instances where the job offers materialise weeks after interviews concluded.”

They can also set weekly, action-based goals they can control – such as three targeted applications or one networking conversation – instead of measuring progress only by outcomes they cannot.

“It is crucial that one conscientiously creates clear boundaries around job search activities, so that negative emotions do not affect family time,” the coach adds. “Take a break when rejection starts to feel personal rather than professional, or when you find yourself applying randomly just to ‘do something’.”

Positioning yourself confidently

Zhi Yun also finds herself caught in a squeeze many mid-career job seekers quietly recognise: too senior for junior roles, but hesitant about roles that demand heavier leadership.

“I feel like I’m just floating around,” she says.

The uncertainty is normal, the career coach says, but rather than viewing this as being stuck, reframe it as having flexibility to pursue the right opportunity.

Leadership responsibilities have evolved into various role structures, according to WSG. Many firms now hire “senior specialist” or “project lead” roles that combine project ownership with some people coordination.

“For candidates with 10 years of experience like Zhi Yun, the challenge is not about capability. It’s how to confidently position themselves to potential employers,” says the coach.

The key, the coach adds, is to stop treating senior roles as “out of reach” and junior roles as the only safe option – and to look instead for roles that genuinely match both skill level and career direction.

This also means tailoring your resume to the role.

“When applying for senior roles, focus on transferable leadership moments from management experience. For individual contributor roles, emphasise the deep expertise, ability to work independently and commitment to supporting broader team objectives,” the coach says.

What tends to cut through is specificity – quantifiable stories of complex campaigns, competing priorities and results delivered against KPI, the coach adds.

“Those examples demonstrate leadership potential and business value far more effectively.”

Likewise, upskilling should be focused and job-led. If a skill shows up in the roles you’re targeting, gives you concrete examples to use in interviews, and can be applied straight away, it’s worth investing in.

In fast-changing industries, that could mean building capability in areas that have evolved quickly – such as AI-enabled tools or data analytics – while leadership or project management training can help bridge the gap into roles with more ownership.

“You can also leverage WSG’s Volunteer Career Advisors initiative to connect with industry veterans who can provide real-world expectations and in-demand skills that may not be readily available through online research,” the coach says.

“Be intentional with training – focus on skills you can apply immediately, not just certificates.”

Planning the next step

Zhi Yun is already reaching out to contacts for referrals, and plans to broaden her job search online beyond LinkedIn. “I recognise that there could be other opportunities across different portals, so this is something I could work on more,” she says.

She also hopes to connect with industry veterans for a clearer sense of what employers are looking for right now. She adds: “It’s always good to understand what other people in the industry think – what’s needed, what to focus on, or even some direction and inspiration for myself.”

At home, life keeps moving, and the job hunt has to fit around it, she says. She is clear about what she is aiming for next: a permanent role with enough flexibility to stay present for her children, and a path forward that lets her build on her decade of experience without burning out.

“Just because we’ve been out of the workforce for a year or two, it doesn’t mean we’re not relevant. Attitude matters more,” she says. “Mums like me have the drive, the motivation. And I think that makes us even stronger candidates.”

For women returning to work after career breaks, WSG’s herCareer initiative offers targeted support, from career coaching to skills training. Visit the website to explore programmes designed specifically for your journey back to work.