Premature births aren’t a subject that often comes up in conversations about pregnancy and parenthood. But for parents, and especially mothers of premature babies (also known as preemies), the experience is often emotionally distressing.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), premature birth is defined as one that happens before the 37 weeks of pregnancy are completed. There are also sub-categories of preterm birth, based on gestational age: extremely preterm (less than 28 weeks), very preterm (28 to 32 weeks), and moderate to late preterm (32 to 37 weeks).
In former radio DJ and actress Jamie Yeo‘s case, both her children Alysia, aged 12, and Luke, four, were born prematurely. And the trauma, especially following Alysia’s birth, has followed her for over a decade. In a recent Instagram post, she wrote “12 years later, I’m finally able to mark World Prematurity Day. Took me a while because Aly’s birth at 30 weeks was traumatic and all I’ve ever wanted to do is just forget about it. Until now. Time has softened the trauma and the fact that Aly is now a big, tall, strong (and extremely sassy) 12 yr old has healed the wounds.”
The onslaught of info online just perpetuated my fears and worries. Being a first-time mother, I was stressed out and had no idea what to do. Thankfully, the doctors and nurses at Gleneagles were really experienced.”
Jamie Yeo
The 45-year-old, who recently relocated to England with her British risk adviser husband Rupert and the kids, tells The Weekly more about the struggles she faced following her preterm births, how she coped, and how the family is doing now in the UK.
They’ve grown up to be strong, healthy kids but both Alyssa and Luke were born prematurely, which Jamie’s gynecologist shared was due to her odd-shaped uterus.
“For both my children, my water broke early. It broke at 29 weeks for Aly and 32 weeks for Luke,” Jamie recalls. In both cases, when her water broke early, she was hospitalised right away. “With Aly, I only held on for a week before the contractions came but with Luke, I held on for three weeks.”
Alysia was born at 30 weeks and Luke at 35 weeks. While both children were preemies, it was a scary time for Jamie in her daughter’s case, as she was extremely small, weighing only one kilogram (pictured). Jamie says, “Being a first-time mother, I was stressed out and had no idea what to do. Thankfully, the doctors and nurses at Gleneagles were really experienced. With Luke, I was a lot more relaxed as he weighed 2.4 kg when he was born and was older.”
“I mean, if it hasn’t happened, you probably can’t imagine how you’d cope but when the tough situation presents itself, and you have no choice but to get through it, you just will.” – Jamie Yeo
With Alysia in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for seven weeks following her birth, it was a worrying and exhausting time for Jamie. She says, “I visited her about three times a day while pumping and healing from the birth.”
It is common for women delivering prematurely to experience a decline in milk production, and stress can also play a part.
Doctors told Jamie her premature birth could have affected her lactation, which added to her guilt. “I never did have enough milk for Aly from the get-go, possibly because I was incredibly stressed. There was nothing I could do about it,” she recalls, adding that she supplemented with a mixture of breastmilk and formula. “After that, I didn’t want to think too much about it.”
With Luke, she shares that she had a lot more milk, but revealed that it wasn’t enough “because he drank so much!”
She tells us that in hindsight, she wishes she’d relaxed more, not stressed too much, and trusted the doctors, nurses, and modern medicine more. “Maybe I would have had more breast milk!” she laughs.
“Trust in modern medicine and relax. Then you will have healthier breast milk and better vibes which your baby will pick up on. It will do both you and your baby so much good if your cortisol levels are low.”
She is thankful for the support from her family and medical staff as a new mum. But one thing she wish she didn’t have — the Internet. “Sometimes it made the situation worse. The onslaught of info online just perpetuated my fears and worries.”
Her tips for other mums experiencing premature births? To try and reduce stress levels. “Neonatal technology has improved from when Aly was born to Luke’s birth (they were born seven years apart) so I can only imagine it must be even better now. Trust in modern medicine and relax. Then you will have healthier breast milk and better vibes which your baby will pick up on. It will do both you and your baby so much good if your cortisol levels are low.”
Children across the globe are raised in different ways, but it appears there’s one thing that parents in Singapore and England have in common. Jamie shares, “In England, there are parents who are obsessed with getting their kids into prestigious schools too.”
“You’ll meet all kinds of parents here,” she continues. “Ones who make sure their kids are decked in helmets, and safety pads before they’re allowed to cycle and others who are really chilled out and kinda just let their kids run around and fall down. I belong to the former (laughs).”
The differences? In general, kids don’t attend extra tuition classes in England, Jamie says. “They might have extracurricular activities like sports after school but most kids are home by 5pm.”
She also acknowledges that the stage of life that she was in while in Singapore impacted her parenting style and the time she spent with her children. “I know that I was way too uptight in Singapore and that sometimes made me a bad mother. I could have and should have been more present. ”
“The reason wasn’t that we were living in Singapore per se, it was more so the life stage I was in. I spent the past few years working my butt off so I could get to where we are today and that meant sacrificing quality time with them.”