Let’s Celebrate Our Children’s Neurodiversity And Embrace Their Brilliance

My 14-year old daughter has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). If she had been born 10 years earlier, her journey would look very different than it does today.

Like most girls with ADHD, their symptoms are usually not obvious till about the ages of eight or nine years old. That’s due in part to the fact that girls are mostly attention deficit, and not hyperactive, like most boys. So while I had noticed a few things in her early years, she was doing quite well in school until she reached about Primary 3. That’s when her teachers started talking about how she needed to focus more. 

When she received her diagnosis in Primary 5, I’m grateful that her school tried to accommodate as much as they could, and even helped to get her access arrangements for her PSLE results. Ten years ago, the reaction from school might have been very different - and she would not have gotten the same level of support, and would have struggled so much more with trying to keep up. 

This level of support now is partly due to the fact that neurodiversity is more widely accepted in recent years, and different conditions such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia and others bring out different strengths and talents.

Decoding the neurodiverse brain

To a neurotypical person, some of the ADHD traits might seem odd or quirky, but we’re also learning to be more understanding and accepting of some of the exceptional abilities that accompany neurodiversity.  

The neurodiverse brain is wired slightly differently, and while it differs from person to person, it can also unleash some amazing creativity or detailed-oriented thinking - some think outside the box and can focus intensely on specific tasks. Others have remarkable memory skills, pattern recognition and problem-solving (think Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rain Man).

In my daughter’s case, I noticed when she was about five or six years old that she would have rapid fire conversations with me, sometimes jumping to another topic before I was even halfway through my response to the first question. She was easily distracted, which worked fine when she was a toddler, but at the same time, would have moments of hyper-focus where she would be so invested in her activity that getting her attention was next to impossible.

We always thought it was just a "toddler" thing until I started reading up more about it. And I kept reading and finding out the best ways to help ADHD girls - something I still try and do as much as possible today as her needs change with age. 

Famous figures with neurodiversity

Most people might not know the name Satoshi Tajiri, but kids will undoubtedly know his work well. Satoshi is the creator of the Pokemon franchise, and is open about his Asperger’s syndrome diagnosis. His experience has translated into the focus and dedication it takes to creating, collecting and cataloguing all those creatures. 

The determined voice of Greta Thunberg, the environmental activist with Asperger's, has been heard worldwide around the topic of urgent climate action. Her neurodiversity has translated into an unwavering dedication and unique perspective that she passionately believes in, which has sparked a global movement.

On the creative side, visionary filmmaker Tim Burton, who has ADHD, is known for his surreal and very imaginative films. Ex-Olympian Michael Phelps also has spoken about his own experience with ADHD and depression, which hasn’t stopped him from earning 23 gold medals throughout his swimming career.

Another sporting icon, Lewis Hamilton, has shared his struggles with dyslexia, while still achieving great success in the highly competitive world of motorsport, with seven world championships to his name. 

These folks have demonstrated that neurodiversity can be harnessed into strength, given the right support.

As a parent, how can you celebrate neurodiversity?

We know each child is different, as as is his or her neurodiversity. Learn more about your child’s neurodiverse condition - its characteristics, strengths and challenges. This is the first step to understanding how to turn the potentially frustrating aspects (and there will be some), into something positive. 

You should also be your child’s biggest advocate for their needs outside the home. Talk with teachers and therapists to create strategies and accommodations that work to your child’s strengths and challenges. Remind them of what they do well, and reassure them during challenging times. 

When my daughter went into her new school, it was important from the start that she get the necessary support possible for her day-to-day schooling. I also found a therapist who would help equip her with the necessary skills, while supporting her journey emotionally. I do an update with both her therapist and teachers on occasion to see how else I can support her at home.

It’s also important to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small they may seem. It’s about the recognition and praise for their efforts and successes in different parts of their life, whether it’s academic or social, in their hobbies or just personal milestones. Constantly celebrate their uniqueness and instil a sense of belief that their differences are what make them such exceptional individuals. 

By creating this supportive environment, celebrating their achievements and advocating for their needs, they’ll begin to embrace their neurodiversity with confidence and pride. 

Dee Lim is a widow and spends her days working in communications. Her second job is being a mum-boss to a precocious teen with ADHD, which makes life very interesting. She is constantly learning how to be a better mother, thinking about why being a stoic is not a bad thing in this chaotic world, and looking for new crochet patterns to work on.