How To Get Your Kids To Clean Up Their Messes Without Yelling

When you have children, it's virtually impossible to maintain a neat and clean home without all hands on deck. Scattered toys and books, unmade beds and food crumbs on the floor are all part of the chaotic and beautiful package called parenthood.

But you don't have to be the only one dealing with the mess. You can train your kids to clean up their messes, and it doesn't have to be an exasperating affair once they get used to picking up after themselves.

Having the little ones help in cleaning up not only contributes to a tidier home, but also instills a sense of responsibility and encourages independence. Here are nine practical parenting tips and organisational hacks, including insights from Alex at decluttering firm Kalm Organise, to help make this process enjoyable for both you and your little one.

1. Start young

Once they’re responsive and physically capable, make cleaning up a natural part of their lives. Toddlers start showing more interest around two or three, but even those as little as one year old can be shown how to put their toys away after playtime. This is a skill that will continue to develop as they grow up. On the other hand,  it’s also never too late to start if your kids are older than this.

2. Be consistent

Children thrive on routines, and there’s no better way to get them in the habit of cleaning up than by making it a consistent component of daily life. You can make it a family activity, with the entire brood tidying the play areas before dinner or bedtime. Having a routine also allows children to understand expectations. Plus, with practice and muscle memory, they might just become expert declutterers over time. 

3. Gamify the process

Cleaning up might not seem fun at first, but how about turning it into a little contest? Introducing a timer to turn it into a race is one way of adding excitement. You can also get creative with making up different rules each time, for instance, picking up all the red blocks first before the blue, or collecting all the toy cars first before the trucks, and so on.     

4. Everything has a “home” 

This makes cleaning up so much easier from day one for you and your child. Clearly designating storage places for item categories is important to the entire process, because your child needs to know exactly where each toy or ball or book goes in order to do their job. Knowing where everything belongs empowers them to independently tidy up without your close supervision.  

5. Colour-coding and labelling

Alex says, “We like to keep it simple and colour code things! One way is to use pictorial labels with simple words. Make the labels as colourful and interesting as you can.” This way, even tiny tots can instinctively sort and organise following the colourful labels before they learn how to read.   

6. Use baskets and clear containers 

Alex continues, “We understand that many couples are working and have less time to spend with their children these days. We like to leave baskets or shelves deliberately empty for kids to return their toys or books after playing or reading, so that parents can later see what their kids were up to during the day.” Using open baskets and clear containers also enables your child to see what’s inside, helping them access and return their belongings more easily. 

7. Involve them in decisions  

If your kids are older, you can consider giving them a greater autonomy. After all, “big kids” are responsible for taking care of their own belongings and keeping them safe, clean and tidy. Allowing them to have a say in how their toys or things are organised is also beneficial, since it fosters a sense of ownership and encourages responsibility and independence.  

8. Cheer them on

As soon as they’re able, let them do it themselves. Offer guidance, directions and reminders, but don’t do it for them anymore. Do it with them at most, but let your actions clearly convey the message that picking up is their responsibility now, not something you will do for them. Then, simply cheer them on with motivating phrases like, “Great job! You’re almost done,” and “You cleaned up all by yourself! This shows that you are very responsible.”

9. Model good behaviour

Finally, the best way to teach your kids how to pick up after themselves is by setting a good example. Younger children especially love to mimic Daddy and Mummy. In time, you might find them offering to take that Magiclean Wiper off of your hands!