Mealtimes Without Screen Time - Mums Share How They Do It

Whenever she goes out with her four children, Ms Nichol Ng, 46, makes it a point to take along picture books and used paper.

The siblings, aged between four and 11, can read, draw and make origami when they are waiting for their meals at eateries.

While it is common to see children and their parents use mobile phones and tablets at dining tables, Ms Ng, who is the co-founder of food charity Food Bank Singapore, does not want her family to fall into the habit. She prefers to engage her children in conversations, games and artwork.

Her eldest child Sascha Rae Heidizayat, 11, says: “Our family enjoys cooking. Sometimes, we would look at the restaurant menu and guess how the dishes are prepared. It takes the boredom out of waiting.”

Athaleyah Chng, seven, and her sister Annabeth, four, also do not use phones at mealtimes.

Their mum, Ms Tan Ying Shi, 39, an administrator, says: “We believe there is a time and place for everything. This means that there should be a focused mind and dedicated space for every activity. During mealtimes, the activity is to eat or eat with others.”

Another mum who encourages her family to stay off phones at the dinner table is Ms Shaina Yu, 39, co-founder of Brave Feats Student Care centre.

Her only child, seven-year-old Evan Goh, enjoys the family interaction. He says: “We play quick card games while waiting for food. When the food arrives, we keep the cards. Sometimes, we talk about our day or something silly that happened recently. I love mealtimes because that is family time.”

Put down the phone

Even while eating, some children would continue to look at their electronic devices.

Screen use during meals not only takes away time for physical interactions, but also contributes to unhealthy eating behaviours, says Ms Tan Ying Xin, a dietitian at the Nutrition and Dietetics Department at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH).

For example, kids can become conditioned to expect a screen during mealtimes. And as they stare at their devices, they may get distracted and take longer to finish their food.

It can also lead to mindless eating, Ms Tan says. The children do not realise how much they are consuming, which results in overeating, indigestion and weight issues over time.

They may not recall what they have eaten, impeding one’s innate ability to regulate hunger and fullness cues.

On the other hand, kids who are not distracted by screens can explore the sensory experience with various food textures and flavours, and appreciate their meals better.

Toddlers and pre-schoolers can also hone their gross and fine motor skills as they focus on eating with a fork and spoon.

Ms Tan also highlights that kids under 18 months old should not have any screen time.

For children between 18 and 36 months old, it is advisable to limit total screen use to less than one hour daily, outside of mealtimes.

These recommendations are found in Singapore’s first set of integrated 24-hour activity guidelines for early childhood by KKH in 2022. The guidelines covered concerns, including screen time and eating habits, for kids aged below seven.

Separately, measures to shape habits of device usage, especially for the young in Singapore, will be released in the coming months.

This comes as electronic devices and social media become a big part of people’s lives, Health Minister Ong Ye Kung and Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli said in separate Facebook posts on June 21.

Break the habit

It is never too late to correct a child’s behaviour, including the use of phones at dining tables.

Ms Stacey Toh, a cluster manager who oversees 10 pre-schools under Babilou Family Singapore, suggests that parents use the acronym “Screen” to guide their kids. She is also an Early Childhood Development Agency fellow.

S – Set expectations before meals

For young children, set achievable expectations by using simple language such as: “We sit at the table for meals. We eat together. No phones at the table.”

C – Consistency

Follow through when you tell your kids that devices are not allowed during meals. When your responses are consistent, they will understand boundaries and that there are consequences for undesired behaviours.

If the habit is deep-rooted and it is a challenge to remove screen time entirely, reduce their usage from 20 minutes to 10 minutes and eventually weaning them off entirely.

R – Role-model desired behaviours

Your kids look to you for direction and guidance, so make sure you put away your phone and be present for them.

E – Establish a routine

Have regular mealtimes as it promotes healthy eating habits. Children thrive on structure as it allows them to feel secure and be in control.

E – Engage in conversations

“What did you do at school today? Tell me more about that colourful painting you brought home.” Your kids will feel important and loved when you respond to them with interest. This takes away their need to focus on a screen.

N – Nurture and encourage

Nurturing is about building relationships and giving words of affirmation such as, “I am so proud of you. You helped to cook the carrots and ate them too.” Once again, when you connect with your children, they will not become dependent on electronics for entertainment.

Unplug and play on

Here are some simple games that parents can play with their children when they dine out. These are shared by Playeum, a charity that champions children through play, creativity and the arts.

What’s in our dish?

Everyone takes turns to guess the ingredients in the dishes to be served. No repeats are allowed. When the food arrives, find out who had the most number of correct answers.

Pass the story

Create a story as a family. Take turns to contribute one sentence, building on from the previous line. You can make the game more challenging by introducing a list of words or actions that they must include in their sentences.

This game nurtures your children’s creativity and active listening skills, as well as develops their confidence in expressing their thoughts. For older children, they can learn how to structure a story with a beginning, middle and end.

I spy

Pick an object that everyone can see in the eatery and give a clue about it. For example, if you have chosen a red chair, tell your kids: “I spy with my little eye something that is red.” They can take turns to call out guesses until someone gets the right answer.

If you have older children, increase the challenge by allowing them to ask three questions about the object with a “yes” or “no” answer before they take a guess. This game helps build their vocabulary and to appreciate what is around them.

This is not a…

Pick up an object such as a water bottle and say: “This is not a water bottle, it is a... rocket ship.”

Then use your body, voice and imagination to show that it is a rocket ship. Your kids can then take turns to pretend that the water bottle is something else – a jellyfish, a house or a giant monster. The sky is the limit.

This game is inspired by picture book Not A Box (2006) by author and illustrator Antoinette Portis. It shows how something as ordinary as a cardboard box can be turned into a racing car or mountain through the power of imagination. The use of exaggerated movements and sounds also gives your children the confidence to express themselves.

The gratitude rose

Ask your children about their rose, bud and thorn of the day: one good thing that happened (rose), one that was not so great (thorn) and one that they look forward to (bud). Share yours with them too.

This helps your kids to talk about their feelings and allows you to get to know them better.

This article was originally published on The Straits Times.