My Breast Milk Came Out Like A Fire Hose

“Literally, the milk would shoot out and squirt into her face.”

In this episode of Too Tired Mums, mum-of-three Angeline Lim and I compared our very different breastfeeding struggles. While Angeline dealt with undersupply and a painfully clogged duct, I had the opposite problem: more milk than my baby could handle.

And when I said the milk would shoot into my daughter’s face, I was not exaggerating.

My left boob was always the overachiever. It produced milk more efficiently than my right. Perhaps the ducts were clearer. Or it simply had a stronger work ethic.

I tried to balance things out by offering my baby my right breast first. But when my daughter was hungry and wailing, I would sometimes give in and offer her the left. I thought she would appreciate the stronger, faster flow.

She did not.

There were times when feeding became what I can only describe as a waterboarding situation. My milk came out so forcefully that my poor girl could not swallow quickly enough.

She would cough, choke or push me away, leaving the milk spraying directly into her face.

I felt terrible, although it was also funny. (With hindsight, I wish I had spare hands to whip out my phone and record videos of these waterboarding incidents.)

Breastfeeding was supposed to be a peaceful bonding experience, no? Instead, my baby looked like she had been ambushed by a fire hose. Like I had offended her with my milk.

Apparently, the fire hose has a name

I later learnt that a particularly fast or forceful flow of milk is described as a forceful letdown or an overactive milk ejection reflex.

The milk ejection reflex pushes milk towards and out of the nipple. When the initial flow is too strong, a baby may cough, splutter, gulp or pull away because they are struggling to coordinate sucking, swallowing and breathing.

Forceful letdown is often linked to breast milk oversupply, although the two are not exactly the same. 

In my case, my oversupply was a result of my pumping routine. I pumped every three to four hours, and often after feeds because my baby did not feed from both sides evenly. I hated having one boob bigger and harder than the other. And guess what? The extra (some may say excessive) pumping stimulated more production than my baby needed.

Over time, I learnt to let the first rush come out – into a milk collector, or onto tissue in desperate cases – and wait for the pressure to ease before offering my breast again.

You could say my forceful letdown let her down.

At that time, I convinced myself that oversupply was a happy problem I should live with. I was also reluctant to shell out hundreds of dollars for lactation support.

Meanwhile, Angeline’s milk wouldn’t come out

Angeline’s experience was almost the opposite.

She considered herself an undersupply mum. At one point, she developed what felt like a painful clogged duct: a hard lump in her breast that would not go away.

She tried massaging it herself. Her husband tried too. Nothing worked. In the end, she called a lactation consultant, who appeared to possess what Angeline described as “magic hands”.

“I don’t know how she touched,” Angeline recalled. “Then all the milk just flowed out, like a tap opened. It all came out and the lump was gone.”

Too much milk isn’t always a good thing

My problem may have sounded enviable to anyone worried about producing too little.

I mean, I had enough leftover milk to flood my in-laws’ freezers until they told me to buy another one. I eventually donated milk to colleagues and even used some for my daughter’s milk baths. 

My dear husband administered those baths because I couldn’t stand to be near my defrosted, fishy-smelling breast milk.

But having an oversupply did not always feel lucky.

There were the forceful letdowns, leaking, painfully engorged boobs and endless freezer logistics. More importantly, there was the distress of watching my baby struggle during what was supposed to be a straightforward feed.

That mental image will always stay with me.

Angeline and I sat on opposite ends of the breastfeeding spectrum. She worried about having too little milk. I had more than my baby could comfortably handle.

Yet both of us ended up confused, uncomfortable and wondering why nobody had warned us that breastfeeding could become this complicated.

For all the talk about breastfeeding being “natural”, it does not necessarily come naturally. Almost every mum I know has a struggle – or two – of her own, whether it is too much milk, too little milk, clogged ducts or latching difficulties.

But none of it makes her more or less of a mum.

Note: Seek medical care or lactation support if breast pain or swelling persists, symptoms worsen, you develop a fever or feel unwell, or your baby regularly struggles during feeds.

Watch the Too Tired Mums episode here.

Too Tired Mums is The Singapore Women’s Weekly’s original talk show series that gives motherhood its most honest voice — where real mums open up about the things we don’t always say out loud, reminding us that we’re never truly alone.

Host: Estelle Low
Guest: Angeline Lim
Producer: Maya Eman
Art director: Michelle Lee
Videography, studio setup and editing: Studio+65
Makeup: Dorcas Yam, using Dior
Hairstyling: Pattama Phumriew, using Schwarzkopf Osis+
Fashion styling: Angela Chu
Outfits: On Estelle, stylist’s own. On Angeline, top from Etro, dress is her own.