A Quick Guide To Screen Time For Kids

We’ve been told that we need to ensure children don’t spend too much time on screens. But every parent’s idea of ‘too much’ varies so what’s an appropriate amount of time for one family might be considered too little for another.

Thankfully, we have a set of guidelines from the Ministry of Health we can follow. The Ministry’s Guidance on Screen Use in Children suggests the following:

• Children under 18 months – no screens unless it's for interactive video chatting. Also, reduce background screen usage.
• Children between 18 months and three years old – limit total screen use to less than one hour a day.
• Children between three and six years old – avoid screen use during meals and one hour before bedtime. Also co-view with children where possible and choose educational content and ensure that the content is age-appropriate.
• Children between seven and 12 years old – discuss with your child and create a screen timetable that maintains a healthy balance between screen usage and other activities such as homework, exercise, sleep and family bonding. Have regular conversations to find out what they're doing online and consider using parental-control settings.

When it comes to older children, Dr Natalie Games, clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, suggests that it might not be just about how much time they’re looking at screen. For kids aged 12 to 16, she says it's more helpful to think in terms of your child’s overall health and how they spend their time in general, rather than counting hours of TV or TikTok. 

“It can be a useful framework to use the idea of a 'developmental checklist’ (related to the processes of growth and maturation, starting at conception, including physical, social, emotional and cognitive growth.) to consider whether your child is engaged in activities important for healthy development,” she explains. “The exact items on this checklist will vary depending on your family’s circumstances but the idea is to list the activities that your child needs to spend time on in order to stay happy and healthy.”

She suggests asking yourself the following questions: 

• Is my child sleeping enough and eating a somewhat balanced diet?
• Are they getting some form of exercise every day?
• Are they spending some quality time with family?
• Do they keep in touch with friends?
• Are they invested in school and keeping up with homework?
• Do they spend time on the hobbies and extracurriculars that matter to them?

“If you can answer yes to most of those questions, then it’s probably not a huge deal if your child watches an extra episode (or three or five) of their favourite show,” she adds.

​​However, the opposite is also true – if your teenager is spending all their time alone in their room, scrolling through social media, that could be a sign of an underlying issue. Or if your child is spending so much time gaming that you can’t get them to exercise or eat properly, that’s a sign that you need to intervene. 

Setting healthy boundaries

Where you have to give your child screen time, Dr Games suggests setting rules. So, for school work, set an agreed limit. For social/connection, it's okay for staying in touch with family and friends. And if you need to be in a meeting which requires privacy and you have to give your child a screen to keep them quiet, this can be mutually beneficial if it's time-limited and necessary.

“If your children seem to be light years ahead in tech acumen compared with you, let them teach you – it's a confidence-booster for them and important for you to keep up with the new experiences they're having,” Dr Games advises. “This might mean sitting through dizzying Minecraft builds, Fortnite games or learning 'teenspeak', but at least you'll experience the virtual world together.”

Working through the ‘developmental checklist’ is just the first step. You may then decide that you need to set some new limits on your child’s screen time, or perhaps it’s time to get serious about limits that have fallen by the wayside. Dr Games says that rules don’t need to be rigid or extreme to be helpful, and suggests some techniques to set healthy boundaries and keep conflict to a minimum:

1. Brainstorm alternatives. When we tell our child not to do something, we almost always need to tell them what to be doing instead. Develop an ‘activity menu’ with your child that lists their preferred non-screen activities (like crafts, reading or playing with a pet). That way, when they’re feeling bored or overwhelmed, they’ll have easy choices at the ready.
2. Keep a schedule. It can also be helpful to set specific times of the day or week when your child knows they’ll be allowed to use their screens. For instance, maybe the 30 minutes before dinner are always open for screen time. That kind of structure helps kids know what to expect and cuts down on their requests for screens at other times. Plus, it gives you space to schedule your own tasks at a time when you know your children will be busy.
3. Emphasise connection. Setting your children up to chat with relatives can also give you a chance to relax or get other things done, which can benefit the whole family.

When screen time becomes unhealthy

It’s also useful to know when your child might be addicted to their devices. Dr Games says there are two major early warning signs to look out for – one is behavioural and the other is emotional.

First, recognize when screens are taking up so much time that there’s no time left for playing offline, doing physical exercise and spending time face-to-face with other people. When you notice this change in behaviour, look at the developmental checklist to see how you respond to the questions now.

It’s important to notice when your child experiences negative emotions after screen time because they’re feeling bullied, ostracised or more generally unhappy as a result of their online interactions. 

“That may happen after they spend time on social networks, communicating by text, or when they play multiplayer role-playing games with a social element,” she says. 

Pay attention to if your child replaces offline activities he used to enjoy with more screen time, if sleep begins to suffer due to late-night tech usage and if in-person interactions – like having family dinners – get usurped by devices.

“As with most parenting topics, constant, open communication is key to helping your family reap the benefits of technology without experiencing too many of the negative effects,” Dr Games advises.