Real Mums On What They Wish They Knew Before Motherhood
First things first, throw your Type A expectations out of the window
By Terri Kue -
Motherhood doesn't come with a manual (even if we hope it would). One can read all the parenting books and listen to various podcasts and still find themselves faced with situations they never expected. With the ups and downs of motherhood comes inevitable growth as you trudge through the uncertainty.
Below, seven mums from our #MumStory series share with us what they would do differently if they could restart their motherhood journey. For new mums, take note of what the seasoned mothers have to offer.
I wish I had realised that the whole "giving birth" part of being a mother would, in the end, be the easiest! I was so worried about giving birth to my first child that I didn't do any reading about actual parenting. I wish I had done more reading and been more prepared for actually having a baby.
I would have taken the time to really research sleep training, what parenting experts were saying about raising babies, and visit a lactation consultant ahead of giving birth. I also would be less scared to ask for help and be clearer with those around me about what kind of help I needed.
- Karen Fong, 41, writer, mum of two
Read Karen's #MumStory here.
The baby clutter is real. Where applicable, I would have invested in basics that are adjustable or have multi-uses so that they can be used for longer periods of time. This really cuts down on the clutter!
These are the key items I recommend researching:
A cot with multiple heights and adjustable sides that can act as a bedside cot and become a stand-alone bed to last your child until two years old.
A high chair for babies with an infant seat that can transform into a junior chair for toddlers.
An isofix car seat system that can be used from infant to toddler-hood
- Eileen Chia, 48, commercial director, mum of four
Read Eileen's #MumStory here.
Before I became a mum, I always thought that I would be able to have it all and be able to juggle my career, social life, and motherhood. I used to think that I could manage motherhood and my kids the way I manage my career; with enough preparation and planning, things will go the way it's supposed to. But you cannot expect that with kids. You can plan all you want, but sometimes things will not go the way you intend them to.
Motherhood involves a lot of sacrifice and give and take. There are days when working and handling kids will exhaust all of your energy and you will have none left for a great night out with your girlfriends.
- Caryn Lim, 36, chief operating officer of a urology clinic, mum of three
Read Caryn's #MumStory here.
It might just be me, but I did not fully comprehend how radically different my life would be after having kids; and as much as I enjoy and love my children, I also miss the freedom I had before I had my children. One thing I definitely would have done if I could have would be to go for my 'babymoon', which did not happen because of the pandemic.
- Deborah Wong, co-owner of Breathe Pilates, mum of two
Read Deborah's #MumStory here.
My advice is to have a plan about when you want to start motherhood. It's not as easy to start your motherhood journey as you think; it's not something you can just have when you want to. If I had known better in the past, I would've done a bit more research and put in a bit more effort into ensuring we had a better chance to have a kid - I didn't give myself a good probability to start with because I started so late (at 32).
As much as I am happy that I had a child at an older age, I often tell my nieces and nephews that if they want kids, they need to have a game plan as to when to start trying.
- Angie Hermann, working in the media industry, mum of one (conceived via IVF)
Read Angie's #MumStory here.
I would choose to take it easy and be as chill as I could. I'm not sure if it was because I was a first-time mum, but I was so anxious about everything - from him falling sick, having a fall, and scratches on his face because his nails were too sharp or long. First-time parents, please, please, relax. Everything is going to be alright. Don’t stress yourself out! It's not good for you mentally in the long term.
- Jocelyn Shu, co-founder of Metier Planner Pte Ltd, mum of one
Read Jocelyn's #MumStory here.
Reflecting on my motherhood journey so far, there are a few things I would do differently if I could restart everything. Firstly, I would trust my instincts more and worry less about what others think. It's easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to other parents, but every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
Secondly, I would try to be more present in the moment and enjoy the little things. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but children grow up so fast, and it's important to savour every moment with them.
- Jasmine Tay, 36, secondary school teacher, mum of one
Read Jasmine's #MumStory here.