This Mum Sums Up How Hard It Is To Take Baby Out

For a three- to four-hour outing, she has a grand total of 11 different items to pack. And that's excluding the quantity of each item, the stroller and the waist rest

@midiforreal/Instagram
Credit: @midiforreal/Instagram
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You may think that it’s pretty easy to bring a baby as a +1 to join family dinners and friend gatherings. Just throw in a pacifier, some diapers and baby food – that’s about it, right? Quite the contrary – especially for new and first-time mums, their daily handbag needs a prominent upsizing, with all the baby products to bring.

Singapore-based content creator Midi is well known on TikTok and Instagram for hilarious videos about her Singaporean husband's quirks (agarwood shopping sprees, cooking skills, etc). Proud of her mainland Chinese roots, she loves to share insider news on trends, fun facts and TMIs about China on social media. Midi also interacts with her viewers and responds to their cry for relationship advice.

Often referred to as her username @midiforreal, she became a mum with the birth of her son, affectionately known as Xiao JoJo, in January. Midi's content has since expanded to include relatable motherhood and baby struggles, with engaging storytelling. Seven months into motherhood, she shared a recurring incident that is rarely discussed – you can call it a canon event for all mothers.

One of her recent videos is a What’s-In-My-Bag for a three- to four-hour outing with her baby. A run-down of the contents: two bibs, two sets of baby clothes, at least three diapers, water gel, rubbish bags, baby toys, baby food and cutlery. On top of breastfeeding clothes, Midi also thinks ahead and packs warm water and milk formula, in the scenario that her breast milk is not enough. That’s a grand total of 11 different items (excluding the quantity of each item) in her bag, as well as a stroller and a waist rest, just in case the baby is "too heavy" for her to carry. Her caption summarises the reason: “It’s all becoz of that ‘just in case’.”

Needless to say, fellow mums flooded her post with their own share of experiences. @mellyna1074 concluded that going out with a baby “requires military planning” due to the unpredictability of their behaviour. "Sometimes you are all set to go, baby will poo so need to clean up. Then try again to leave, get into the car and strap again, poo again. So have to go back in for second clean up. By the time you finally get to leave, it’s been almost 2 hours from your initial plan. 😂😂"

Another commenter @melynxx19 marvelled at Midi’s trust in bringing only three diapers, as she herself brings 15. Fifteen! This comment from @zmdotzie sure puts the packing intensity into perspective: “Bring (my baby) out for 3 hours = pack like going staycation. Bring him out for 1 night trip = pack like moving house.” 

Despite the humour this topic brings to fellow mums, it ends up being yet another smile-through-the-pain moment. Many non-parents and even family members (especially those who weren't heavily involved in baby duties as parents) do not realise how hard it is to plan outings with babies involved. The unawareness and therefore a lack of consideration for the gazillion aspects of taking a baby out leaves the mum (usually the default packer) frustrated, having to deal with packing dilemmas and mental fatigue each time.

This is also a reason why mums' social lives often take a backseat, especially in the first year of being a parent. It's both isolating and painful trying to let friends and family members understand the throes of going on an outing with a baby. Besides the mind-boggling packing, there are also factors such as baby's feeding time, poop time, naptime, and current developmental phase to consider. Without understanding and empathy from friends and family, it becomes difficult to balance mum life and social life.

If you’re a mum: we see you, we appreciate your efforts. Looking after a baby at home is tough enough; you should not feel obliged or pressurized to head out just because someone asked you to. If you're not a mum, this is a sign to check up on your mum friends and family, and offer to hang out at her place instead of outdoors. You can have a fun and meaningful catch-up, while saving your mum friend a lot of hassle.

If your friend has help to look after the baby (lucky her!) and you're looking for one-on-one time, ask her out without the baby. She'd likely appreciate being relieved of mum duties for a few hours.

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